“Steal from one artist, it’s plagiarism, steal from many, it’s research.” -Wilson Mizner

Writers are all just master thieves. As a writer, I am constantly trying to take from real life in any way that I can, whether it be using a town I know as a setting or a person I know as a character. In some ways, writing is like making a patchwork quilt. You have to take from so many places so that each square is unique. Nowhere is this more apparent than in dialogue. So much dialogue is simply lifted wholesale from conversations that I’ve listened in on. It’s the only surefire way that I’ve found to get natural-sounding, interesting dialogue.

So how would an aspiring writer begin to acquire an ear for dialogue? Well, there’s plenty of places to start listening. Do you ever just zone out in the middle of hearing two of your friends talk to one another? That’s where it all starts. Take note of the way that each of them speaks, the word choices they make. Does your one friend always start his sentences with “Well,” or “Like,”? Does your other friend make long pauses for effect? Do either of them just not shut up? The key is to take all of these traits about their speaking and transfer it into dialogue in your head. You have to visualize the quotation marks and the commas and the dialogue tags. That, or you can write it down on a little notebook if you are unable to visualize it.

You don’t have to just listen to a rhythm in speech. You can also listen to ideas. What are they talking about? The other day I heard someone discussing in depth their theory on why the earth is flat. It was a trip inside this person’s head that I’m glad I took, but also glad I don’t have to take again.

Loud places with many people are great places to start eavesdropping for dialogue -- shopping malls, restaurants, house parties, the gym. Anywhere that you can listen discretely is a great place to start. Pick out a voice that sounds distinct from the crowd and separate it. Focus entirely on hearing that voice. This is really difficult to do at first, but with time, you’ll be a master of it. If you have a notebook with you, now is the time to take that out and start stealing. You don’t have to get everything exactly as they say it, especially if this is your first time doing something like this. Fill in the blanks with your imagination. You are a writer, after all.

As you take more and more, you will begin to notice certain things about the way people speak that you can incorporate into the dialogue that you create. People have so many unique speech patterns that are just a blast to put down on the page. If you are having fun writing something, the people reading your work will definitely tell. I personally have spent hours in busy places, with headphones on to mask my nefarious deeds, just listening to the people in the local Starbucks. Seeing where the conversations head, what ideas they bring to the forefront, is intensely entertaining.

The best part is when you’re only able to get little snippets of dialogue, like “I just can’t do this anymore” and building off of it. What is this person fed up with? What is their tone of voice when they say this, is it angry? Sad? Panicked? Since you didn’t hear any of the conversation following that, you are free to drive that train of thought wherever you want it to go. This is the most realistic scenario. It’s like thirty-three percent stealing and sixty-seven percent imagination.

The beauty of this is that no one will ever know that you pilfered their conversation. They could see their words printed on a page in front of them and wouldn’t recognize it was their own. You’ve surrounded it with so many other little things that you swiped from other conversations that it has become your own. It’s a pastiche or a mosaic that is now entirely your creation.

So, what are you waiting for? Get out to your local Waffle House and listen to the waitress taking orders, or get out to a nightclub and fold your chest over a drink, trying to hear the drunk couple’s argument outside. There is an inspiration for dialogue everywhere if you are willing to be shameless.