I used to think that when people left relationships or other people, they were weak. I’m just starting to realize, as I’m starting to do this myself, when people leave it’s because they have tried their hardest but there is nothing left. They are strong enough to know that even though it is someone they care about that they are leaving, they need to go before it destroys them. They realize that there is nothing left for them that helps them grow and make them a better person.

If you walk away, you are strong because you recognize the reasons you were staying no longer exist. The person before you is not the same person you fell in love with. You realize that all you are holding onto is memories of better times. You know that by staying, you yourself will self-destruct and you know from past experiences, that can’t happen again. You deserve more and you can’t put yourself through that anymore.

If you are struggling with the decision to walk away, and are scared and think that if you do that means you gave up and are weak, stop. You are strong because you realize the situation you are in right now is no longer good. The person who used to make you feel great and would bring you happiness now brings you guilt, insecurity, and dread. If you now have to regularly hope that today is a “good day” for you, walk away. It isn’t weak or giving up, it is walking away for your own good and happiness.

You are strong because you know that even though it’s hard, everything will work out and get better in time. You are not alone, and like you, I was once that person. For me, I realized I had to walk away after I cried myself to sleep thinking about our relationship and low we have both become. Don’t give them the power to turn you into a cold person that you are no longer proud of.

To the person who I am writing about, you caused a change in me, but not for the good. You see, even though you broke me, the person I became while trying to keep you was not the person I wanted to be. I became weak and insecure and let you treat me like shit because I thought it would get better. It didn’t. The next morning after I cried myself to sleep on the floor in a ball, I realized that wasn’t who I wanted to be. I realized that I deserved more and that I should be treated better.

When he tried talking to me the next day, I couldn’t take the bullshit that he was spewing from his lips again, trying to make it okay. I finally accepted the fact that I knew it never would be. He was manipulating me like he always had before, but for some reason this time, his groveling filled me with anger. Before I knew it I snapped! I yelled at him to “F*** off, and go find yourself someone else!”. I stormed out of his room and never looked back.

I used to think about us and how we used to be, but that was the problem. I thought about how we used to be. When I was really lonely and felt like there wouldn’t be anyone else that could care about me, that’s when I’d think about him. There within lies another problem. I never thought about him when I was happy with my life, only during the low points and when I was sad.

Writing all this down helps me work through what I am thinking and that’s what you are here for. I am here to share my journey, and by writing it for you all it is in some way a form of therapy for me. Thank you so much for listening and reading, and I hope this helps at least just one person. I know walking away is tough, but I promise you will be better for it. It will get better, just keep going and have faith in the universe.

I know that it isn’t always as easy to walk away from a situation like I did, but I had gotten to my breaking point and I couldn’t take it. Even though I never ended up going back to him doesn’t mean I don’t still think about him. I did a lot for awhile, but now when I think of him it isn’t in a bad way! I think about how much I learned from that relationship and about myself.

When I think about him now, it’s for my own good. It helps me work out some insecurities I still have today that stem from that relationship. Since I left and cut him out of my life, I have grown so much as a person. I am finally focusing on myself and what makes me happy.

I have become a lot more spiritual, and now only surround myself with people who truly care about me, support me, and love me. I am a lot more positive and have a better outlook on life. I still have down days where my old insecurities creep up, but my good days far outweigh the bad.

To him: I just want to say thank you. Without you, I wouldn’t be confronting all my issues now. Without you, I wouldn’t have gone through all that shit and realized how strong of a person I am. Without you, I wouldn’t have learned the difference between what I had and what I deserve.

Without you, I would have never learned that as much as you want them to, people won’t change unless they want to change themselves. Without you, I would have never learned to the importance of not settling. Even with all of the negativity you brought to my life, I look at us and see it as a growing experience. I know we weren’t normal or healthy and that you never wanted to tell anyone about us, but I don’t care anymore.

I just hope you work through all the stuff you were going through and find happiness in life. I hope you grow and become the amazing person I tricked myself into believing you were. I send positive vibes and hope the best for you in the future.