Going Through One Of My Worst College Semesters

Going Through One Of My Worst College Semesters

"It will get better. It always does."


Life isn't easy. Things will happen that will change who you are as a person. Things will happen that will make you grow up quicker than expected. Things will happen that will change your outlook on life. Things will happen that will make you wonder, "Why me?"

In the moment, going through tough times and accepting the reality of things will feel like absolute shit. It feels like your entire world is falling apart or as if nothing is stable or secure.

Fall semester of 2017 was that period for me.

Before the semester started, I had just gotten news that my best friend and her family were going to get deported back to El Salvador. I was devastated by that news. It made me sick just thinking about the fact that Trump decided to turn his back on those who were seeking asylum from their home country. More than that, I never thought that my own best friend would be affected by these policy changes.

All throughout fall semester, I was going through a mentally-draining breakup with my now ex-boyfriend; first boyfriend, first "I love you," first guy I made serious plans of the future with. I shattered when it ended. I didn't know what to do with myself or how to deal with this heartbreak. I completely lost myself and didn't really know who I was without him

And in December, I got one of the worst news of my life. I lost my father to pneumonia.

Words cannot begin to describe the pain and loss I felt. I was devastated, depressed, and furious as to why this had happened to me.

My dad was in India when he got sick. I was in Florida, taking my finals at UF and getting ready for Christmas break. I was unknown to the fact that he was sick. By the time I had found out, it was too late to book a ticket and visit him.

Within three days of finding out, he had passed away.

There's a different kind of pain associated with losing a parent at such a young age. At first, I refused to believe it was true. As time went on, our friends and family members called us left and right to give us their condolences, and reality started to settle in.

Among all of this, I was failing my classes. My GPA had slipped below a certain threshold, so much so, that I got kicked out of the college I was in and had to, abruptly, change my major.

Throughout the entire semester, I never wanted to leave my bed, was constantly crying and didn't have a sense of purpose or saw the 'light at the end of the tunnel.'

It's cliché to say this, but as time went on, things got better.

Don't get me wrong, there were plenty of moments where I broke down crying or couldn't find a way out of my own toxic thoughts but having healthy distractions and doing meaningful work helped me overcome my hardships.

I found ways to distract myself from the pain. I dove into reading, painting, cooking, listening and playing music, working out, hanging out with friends and figuring out my college career.

I relied on my friends and family members to help me brave through the bad times. They reminded me that I wasn't alone on this journey to healing. They reminded me that no matter how bad things got, I will always have their support and love.

A note to anyone who's going through something similar, or feel as though there's no way to recover: It will get better. It always does.

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A Letter To My Freshman Dorm Room As I Pack Up My Things

Somehow a 15' x 12' room became a home.


Dear Geary 411,

With your creaky beds, concrete walls, and mismatched tile floors, you are easily overlooked as just another room we were randomly assigned to— but you were different. Inside your old walls, I have made some of the best memories of my life that I will hold on to forever.

Thank you for welcoming my neighbors in with open arms who quickly became friends who didn't knock and walked in like you were their own.

I feel like an apology is needed.

We're sorry for blaring the music so loud while getting ready and acting like we can actually sing when, in reality, we know we can't. Sorry for the dance parties that got a bit out of control and ended with us standing on the desks. Sorry for the cases of the late-night giggles that came out of nowhere and just would not go away. Sorry for the homesick cries and the "I failed my test" cries and the "I'm dropping out" cries. We're sorry for hating you at first. All we saw was a tiny and insanely hot room, we had no idea what you would bring to us.

Thank you for providing me with memories of my first college friends and college experiences.

As I stand at the door looking at the bare room that I first walked into nine months ago I see so much more than just a room. I see lots and lots of dinners being eaten at the desks filled with stories of our days. I see three girls sitting on the floor laughing at God knows what. I see late night ice cream runs and dance battles. I see long nights of homework and much-needed naps. Most importantly, I look at the bed and see a girl who sat and watched her parents leave in August and was absolutely terrified, and as I lock you up for the last time today, I am so proud of who that terrified girl is now and how much she has grown.

Thank you for being a space where I could grow, where I was tested physically, mentally and emotionally and for being my home for a year.


A girl who is sad to go

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8 Things We Do In College That You Probably Won't Tell Mom And Dad On Your Weekly Phone Call

A list of the things you do to spice up college life, shhh don't tell the parents.


All of us are experiencing freedom and our own rules for the first time and sometimes we push the limits. So here's the list of the things we probably won't tell mom and dad we did when they call tomorrow morning.

1. Get a Piercing

Piercing Black And White GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY Giphy

There's something sketchy about tattoo parlors and college towns. Overpriced, yet people are still lined out the door because they need a new earring or face piercing SO bad. Until they call mom and she's not happy.

2. Dye your Hair


"Well I thought I'd change things up and Sussie had extra dye"

3. Get a Tattoo


"I got this because I'm a _____ major and we love ______"

or the good ol' Ohio 110 logo.

4. Go on a Bender


Sometimes you think wet week is a good idea. Sadly your bank account, your liver, and early classes think otherwise.

5. Junk Food Splurge


You'll probably eat out too many times in a week and regret it later when you have a food baby.

6. Using the Credit Card for Drinks

Jacqueline Jing Lin GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY Giphy

Money is all coming from the same place though, right? Truly sorry for this one.

7. Promiscuity


Being away from home and having your own roof, sort of, lets you make any decision you want. Many students become much more sexually active and let their guard down about safe sex.

8. Bad Decisions


Whether it's blacking out on weekdays, getting an unsafe ride home, or puking while showering, sometimes college gets the best of us. But I can tell you we have a hell of a time doing it.

Mom, if you're reading this, these weren't all my ideas I'm not that bad I swear! And students be safe and try and think before you do something that could make your parents very, very mad.... tattoos are FOREVER.

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