Going Through One Of My Worst College Semesters

Going Through One Of My Worst College Semesters

"It will get better. It always does."


Life isn't easy. Things will happen that will change who you are as a person. Things will happen that will make you grow up quicker than expected. Things will happen that will change your outlook on life. Things will happen that will make you wonder, "Why me?"

In the moment, going through tough times and accepting the reality of things will feel like absolute shit. It feels like your entire world is falling apart or as if nothing is stable or secure.

Fall semester of 2017 was that period for me.

Before the semester started, I had just gotten news that my best friend and her family were going to get deported back to El Salvador. I was devastated by that news. It made me sick just thinking about the fact that Trump decided to turn his back on those who were seeking asylum from their home country. More than that, I never thought that my own best friend would be affected by these policy changes.

All throughout fall semester, I was going through a mentally-draining breakup with my now ex-boyfriend; first boyfriend, first "I love you," first guy I made serious plans of the future with. I shattered when it ended. I didn't know what to do with myself or how to deal with this heartbreak. I completely lost myself and didn't really know who I was without him

And in December, I got one of the worst news of my life. I lost my father to pneumonia.

Words cannot begin to describe the pain and loss I felt. I was devastated, depressed, and furious as to why this had happened to me.

My dad was in India when he got sick. I was in Florida, taking my finals at UF and getting ready for Christmas break. I was unknown to the fact that he was sick. By the time I had found out, it was too late to book a ticket and visit him.

Within three days of finding out, he had passed away.

There's a different kind of pain associated with losing a parent at such a young age. At first, I refused to believe it was true. As time went on, our friends and family members called us left and right to give us their condolences, and reality started to settle in.

Among all of this, I was failing my classes. My GPA had slipped below a certain threshold, so much so, that I got kicked out of the college I was in and had to, abruptly, change my major.

Throughout the entire semester, I never wanted to leave my bed, was constantly crying and didn't have a sense of purpose or saw the 'light at the end of the tunnel.'

It's cliché to say this, but as time went on, things got better.

Don't get me wrong, there were plenty of moments where I broke down crying or couldn't find a way out of my own toxic thoughts but having healthy distractions and doing meaningful work helped me overcome my hardships.

I found ways to distract myself from the pain. I dove into reading, painting, cooking, listening and playing music, working out, hanging out with friends and figuring out my college career.

I relied on my friends and family members to help me brave through the bad times. They reminded me that I wasn't alone on this journey to healing. They reminded me that no matter how bad things got, I will always have their support and love.

A note to anyone who's going through something similar, or feel as though there's no way to recover: It will get better. It always does.

Popular Right Now

21 Lies College Students Tell Their Parents

I can almost guarantee that you have used at least five of these.


Let's be honest. College is the best time of your life for a lot of reasons, and maybe you should not tell your mom all of them when she calls. I can almost guarantee that you have used at least five of these, and the others — maybe you should try next time!

1. "I can't talk now, I'm in the library."

Typically used when the student is too hungover to talk.

2. "Gotta go now, I'm walking into class."

Then hit play on Netflix.

3. "I think it might be food poisoning."

Was it the food, or all of that alcohol? Your symptoms sound more like a hangover to me.

4. "No, I didn't just wake up."

It is 4 p.m. and, yes, you did.

5. "I need more money for laundry and food."

Meaning, "I need more money for things I don't think you will give me money for."

6. "I never skip class!"

When we use this one, it usually does not refer to anything before 11 a.m.

7. "I studied all night for that test!"

If by "studied all night" you mean you watched TV shows in the library, then, yes, all night.

8. "Everyone failed that test."

And by everyone, I mean me and my friend who did not go to sleep until 3 a.m.

9. "I'm walking home from breakfast with my friends."

Yeah, OK. You are just lucky she cannot see last night's outfit and the high heels you are carrying. We know where you have been.

10. "Potbelly's is a restaurant."

I mean, they may sell tacos, but I'm not sure I would call it a restaurant.

11. "I go to Cantina's for the Nachos."

I hope that is not the only reason but, hey, you do you.

12. "The $40 charge on the card from last Saturday? That was for school supplies!"

Yeah, right. It was for a new dress.

13. "Nobody goes out on weeknights, especially not me."

We all know grades come first, right?

14. "I can't remember the last time I went out!"


15. "I make my bed regularly"

About as often as I clean the bathroom.

16. "I did not say 'Margarita Monday,' I said I went to 'Margaret's on Monday'!"

Following the use of this lie, do not post any pictures on social media of you with a margarita.

17. "I use my meal plan, and eat in the dining hall all the time."

As you scarf down Chick-fil-A.

18. "I eat healthy!"

For those without a meal plan who have to grocery shop on their own, we all know you spend $2 on a 12-pack of Ramen noodles and the rest on a different kind of 12-pack.

19. "No, I don't have a fake ID."

OK, "John Smith," and where exactly in Wyoming are you from?

20. "I'm doing great in all of my classes."

We use this one because you cannot see our grades online, anymore.

21. "I did not wait until the last minute to start on this."

We all know that if you start a paper before 10 p.m. the night before it is due, you are doing something wrong.

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

If My Daughter Ends Up Joining A Sorority, Well, Good Luck Charlie

If my future daughter does end up reading this, I hope you know I will always support you.


If I ever have a child, I will support them with whatever their passion is. I will be there cheering for them whether it be in the stands of a high school sporting event, or just cheering them on at home as they crush their mountain of homework.

Spring semester of my freshman year, I decided to rush. At the time, I had a small group of friends but wanted to expand my circle. I tried joining a few clubs my first semester, but I was really isolating myself in my dorm room to study and occasionally getting something to eat. I craved more, and going out for spring recruitment seemed like the perfect opportunity to force myself to make friends.

If you knew me back in high school, I was so against the concept of Greek life. My mother was in a sorority when she was in college, and it just never appealed to me. I never had the pressure to become a legacy, or that it was something every college girl had to do as a way to get boys. I didn't like the idea of conformity or paying for friends essentially. It just wasn't how I picked my college experience.

After receiving my bid though, I call what I entered the honeymoon phase. Everything seemed perfect. From the moment I walked into the bid day celebration, I felt like I made the right decision. I dreamed of maybe being on the executive board and making a huge difference for my campus's Greek community. All the girls I would call my "sisters" were just warm and welcoming, and I felt like I had found my place. I was just over the moon. I even was so "in love" that I ended up writing a handful of articles about the perks of Greek life.

And I am not here saying the whole experience was bad. Everyone has different experiences and every chapter is different. You really do get what you put into it. I ended up with an amazing big and little to match. Those two are actually like sisters to me, and I couldn't imagine my life without them. I also gained the most amazing friends who constantly support me despite being an alumna of my sorority now. There are benefits to Greek life, trust me.

However, there is a dark side to Greek life nobody mentions. You will fall out of that honeymoon phase, falling out of love with your sorority. You may even question why you joined in the first place. I know I do sometimes. At least for me, I was pressured into fitting into an image, one where I was meant to be happy all the time. I was even confronted by a few sisters who spread rumors about me because they mistook my anxiety and started to spread rumors I was gossiping even if I was just expressing my frustration with someone standing in front of me.

There was a period of my life where I just wasn't okay. A few people I let into that chaotic period of my life and some of them were my sisters and people I was told to "trust." Yet, some of these people didn't have my full trust. They told me I needed to learn to control my anxiety better without asking me what was bothering me. They didn't take the time to find out that I was struggling with a shooting back home that just rocked my world. I was anxious because I constantly worried about myself, my parents, and people back home. I lost motivation in school. I couldn't sleep. And somehow, I was still the bad guy because I wasn't happy all the time. Someone at my school's tech center saw me upset and believed I was spreading rumors, which is so far from the truth.

My experience with Greek life was far from picture perfect at the end of my journey in my sorority. There are times I still question why I convinced myself to sign up for recruitment, but there are days I am thankful for at least the experience because of the people it brought into my life.

If my future daughter does end up reading this, I hope you know I will always support you. However, it is important to realize that despite all the positives a situation may have, there can also be negatives. Not everything in life will end up being picture perfect. Whatever you choose to do, I will be your shoulder to cry on or your best friend to share the joy with you.

Related Content

Facebook Comments