"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife", and according to certain men, this woman must be a debt-free virgin with no tattoos. (Pride and Prejudice)
If you still haven't had a chance to read Lori Anderson's blog post on the threats that college-educated women can have on the market for eligible Christian wives than you are really missing out. According to Anderson, Christian women have to be careful about whether to even attend university if they want to ensure their ability to proper wives and mothers in the future. She goes on to mention that men will have troubling training their wives "since they've not been taught to live in submission to their husbands" while commenting that these women could instead live at their father's home for protection until marriage.
Anderson's post gains favor from some, while for others, like yours truly, are simply astounded at the blatant infantilization of women and that their worth would be diminished in any way by pursuing a higher education or that tattoos would somehow also affect their worth.
But what surprises me the most is the standards that Christian women apparently have to meet are still fairly low: to be debt free, a virgin, and no tattoos. So I've taken it upon myself like Anderson to expand more on the subject and present the following people you should definitely not enter a relationship.
1. People that pour milk first and cereal after
Everyone knows that the only way to preserve the good cronch of cereal and avoid any immediate sogginess is to pour your cereal first and then add the milk afterwards. Also how the heck do you expect to get the right cereal-to-milk ratio if you don't measure out the amount of cereal you want first?
2. Guys that wear shorts all year (even in winter)
I honestly do not understand as a Midwest native how some guys can go all year, no matter the weather, rain or shine and just wear shorts and only shorts. What are you trying to prove to the world? That you have knees? That your bro-ness can withstand even Mother Nature herself? Because your frostbitten kneecaps stand to say otherwise. And contrary to your strange logic, shorts are not always the best option for formal wear, so in an ironic twist, I'm going to have to tell you boys to cover up.
3. People who use the wrong 'Your' or 'Their' when texting
Let me break it down for you:
Your = possession
You're = You Are, it's a contraction
Their = possession again
There = placement/location/direction
They're =They are, another contraction
Please get it right people.
4. Anyone that uses the word "triggered" for minor annoyances/inconveniences
Please note that trigger warnings and triggers are used to avoid any stimuli or situations that might cause a person to remember or relive a traumatic event.
Please don't use this when you can't recognize that the "leaf" in your Chipotle burrito is bay leaf which is used for seasoning.
5. That one person who thinks it's acceptable to bite into the entire kit-kat bar
No. Just...no.
6. People that drive and don't use their blinker
Two Words: Actual. Heathens.
7. Independent feminist women with autonomy over their bodies and relationships
Oh my bad, that's exactly the type of person you should want to pursue a relationship with.
