My first part-time job was at a rollerskating rink. It was called a "Family Fun Center" as there is also an arcade that went along with a stuff shop for prizes, a concession area, a Laser Storm arena, and a rock climbing wall. The business regularly hosts birthday parties for children (sometimes adults), fundraisers, group events, public skating, and more. The job does have many perks such as skating around after hours and bringing nieces or nephews for free so you are the cool aunt. However, there are many questions that you will hear on a daily basis that will have you wondering why customer service was ever invented.

1. "Do you know how to rollerskate/rollerblade/ice skate?"

Yes, I know how to both rollerskate and rollerblade. No, I will not abandon my post to show you my "moves." Some employees do not know how to do either and it is not required unless you are a floor guard which is someone who skates around the rink to make sure no one is becoming unruly, everyone is being safe, etc. No, I am not a floor guard. Also, what does ice skating have to do with this?

2. "Why are you guys only open for (insert time slot here)?"

There are skating sessions and every other roller rink has them. My coworkers and I refer to it as going to the movies, you should check the time before leaving the house. Yes, we do have special sessions that are longer but you wouldn't know that if you didn't check our website. Yes, we also close in between to clean and set up for the next session.

3. "Everything closes in between? We can't play games/get food/pick prizes?"

EVERYTHING. WE NEED TO CLEAN.

4. "Why is admission/skate rental/prizes/food/laser tag/rock wall/everything in this facility so expensive?"

Well, I don't know. If you couldn't tell, I am just an employee who has no control whatsoever about pricing and cannot do a thing for you. Yes, we have coupons and you would know that if you checked our WEBSITE. Yes, this was cheaper when you were younger. It's called inflation. Plus, it is a significantly large facility with employees to pay, bills, etc., so how do you expect us to make a profit?

5. "My child just fell, there is blood everywhere, and they are bawling their eyes out, can someone get an ambulance and an AED!?"

This can go two ways: I go over and your child is just bruised up or I go over and what you said was partially true. Either way, all injuries have to be reported to management but please don't over-exaggerate about your child's condition. The employees and the manager will stress over it until they reach the child just to find out that little Sally's meltdown is over and she is now eating an ice cream cone.

6. "Can you play that song that swears every five seconds?"

No, I cannot. This is a Family Fun Center and there cannot be songs with swears or have any sexual innuendos because there are little children present. Tell me that's stupid all you want, I'll call you over when Susan comes up to the front desk to put in a formal complaint.

7. "Why do I have to fill out a waiver form if I am going to skate and am over 18 years old?"

Because our insurance only covers children. By signing the waiver form, you waive all your rights to sue us. We do not look at your information and we only ask if you have health insurance or not because if you do fall, we would like to know which hospital to take you to. You are not signing your life away. I am not the Grim Reaper. JUST FILL IT OUT.

8. "That game over there isn't working."

OK, you didn't tell me the name of said game or what isn't working. What do you want me to do?

9. "I want a size 8 and a half in women's for skates, please."

It's perfectly understandable that you don't know that we only have whole sizes and that they're all in men's. We easily just subtract two from your women's size and round up to the next size. However, don't flip out on me that you need a women's 8 and a half, a men's 7 will just do fine.

10. "Did you know I used to come here when I was a kid?"

Now you're bringing your grandchildren here. You're old, we get it.

11. "Can we play Laser Storm right away?"

NO. If there are any birthday parties during that session, they have scheduled Laser Storm times and we usually try to fit as many people into a Laser Storm game so we are not doing an abundance of games in a session. Please wait until we call up your numbered laser game, it will make everyone's life easier.

12. "Can I rearrange all the times you scheduled for my or my child's birthday party?"

I work here and I know what fits best and will ensure that you/your child will have the time of their life. Please do not maim my masterpiece.

13. "Why can't I come in alone even though I am 15/16/17 years old? Why do I need my parent with me?"

It's policy. You can come in with your parent to supervise you, but not alone. We allowed it before and kids that age just don't listen to employees. They misbehave and throw language around that should not be heard by children (see #6). It is also on our website and all our flyers that the facility is 14 and under or 18 and older. If you looked on the WEBSITE, you would be informed. Thanks.

14. "Why was it $2.97 for French fries when the sign says $2.75?"

You know what the sign also says? "Prices do not include sales tax." Why doesn't it include sales tax? Tax percentages change. I am not overcharging you for a tip.

15. "Were you skating when you fell at work?"

I recently fractured my right elbow and every time I tell someone that I fell at the rink, they always ask this. I am clumsy enough to trip over my own two feet, I do not need skates to accomplish breaking a bone.

16. "Can we play that one game that takes forever and no one listens?"

DJs are the ones in charge of the musical selection, but also have the job of entertaining the customers whether it be through scavenger hunts, skating with the lights off, or some good old trivia. Don't ask us to play a specific game: we know what to do based on age and other factors, we promise that we will not bore you.

17. "Is it all worth it?"

Yes. There's just something about seeing kids having fun with their families that hits you right in the heart. The bond you make with your coworkers when you go out after hours or sing karaoke in the back kitchen is undeniable. There will be regulars who come in every week and you talk with to make your shift go by faster. Most of the time, there will be people you know around town that come into skate.

Through all the screaming kids at the stuff shop, broken games, ignorant customers, and cleaning up throw up and gum on occasion, it's worth it.