Words of Wisdom From My Mom

Words of Wisdom From My Mom

Mother knows best.
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Mothers are meant to guide you through life. They are there for your first steps, your first words, your first day of school, and so on. No matter how many times you may get irritated at your mother for nagging you, giving you a harsh reality check, or giving you unwanted advice just remember that she has your best interest in mind. Throughout my life, my mom has imparted some of her wisdom to me, the kind of advice that may not have seemed entirely helpful at the time, but has stuck with me throughout the years and has helped shape me as a person.

Work hard at everything you do

My mom is an extremely hard worker, a trait which many people have admired her for. At work, she'll stay hours past when she's supposed to leave and skip breaks just to get the job done. At home, she's the person that motivates everybody to get things done (even though the rest of us might moan and groan about doing said task). I see so many people nowadays that take the easy way out of all of their jobs, that won't even do the bare minimum at times. I'm glad my mom instilled her work ethic in me so I didn't turn into one of those people.

Do your best

This piece of advice has come up multiple times throughout the years. Whether I'm struggling with a class or feel like I'm failing at some aspect of my life a simple reassurance such as "do your best" can be comforting. I know that I'm not always going to excel at everything I do in life, but as long as I do my best I should be okay.

Don't worry about things you have no control over

This is something I've had to be told many, many times during my life. If you're worried about: accidentally missed an important meeting or event, feeling like you may just failed a test, or somebody not liking you, keep these words of advice in mind. You may feel horrible after experiencing these kinds of situations, but you ultimately have no control over the outcome. Why get all worked up about something that you can't change? Look towards bettering the future instead of fretting over the past.

Don't let what other people say get to you

This concept can be extremely hard to grasp during those middle school and high school years when you're striving for approval from everybody. It can be devastating to hear people say bad things about you or to know that somebody doesn't like you, but these people don't define your life, YOU do. This isn't to say that I'm no longer self conscious or completely don't care what people have to say, but I definitely have a thicker skin now than I used to.

Thank you, mom, for the words of advice for the past nineteen years and for the years of guidance still to come. I love you.

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

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Dear High School Me, I Am So Sorry For What I Put You Through

A letter that is only to help me vent, let go, and heal from.

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The countless anxiety attacks you went through for being afraid. Afraid of not pleasing your friends, afraid of not being enough, going through the ridiculous boyfriend problems NO teenager should ever need to deal with; For struggling with being positive due to the issues you had at home, and for just simply making your head go completely insane for crap that (in reality) wasn't your fault. I will never forget the nights I cried myself to sleep over the huge amount of stress of multiple issues.

As a dance major in high school, you learn very quickly in the dance world how critical it can be within the other dancers around you, the teachers training you, and the choreographers who recruit you in pieces to showcase at our dance concerts. In almost every dance environment, 'favoritism' is a real thing. If you aren't hard-core trained and full of technique... you're not the best. Judgement can be so toxic in the dance environment only because its always about 9/10 times a competition. You have to fight to be in the dance pieces you want to be a part of. Even when you have that "amazing" group of friends... it all downfalls when it comes to certain things like 'stealing' the spot they wanted, or when they're stressed out about dance itself and take it out on you, and when they just aren't 100% real and decide to talk about you amongst others. It's a real thing.

It's all a mess. A mess within the mindset that you are never good enough. Being in high school, you don't have enough control to make [almost any] decisions for yourself. Aside from dance, even living in the environment I lived in made me get no real escape from any negativity. Being constantly put down, and having to hear countless complaints about you being "useless" and "never doing anything right" can really hurt a kid. Whether you're a child, teenager, or reaching into your adult life... constantly hearing how little satisfaction you give to anyone close in your life can damage you. I still suffer (or freak out) on things that I automatically assume will make me a disappointment to specific people that constantly show/tell me I can't do anything right.

I can only give myself so much credit on the amount of crap I put myself through growing up with all those whom surrounded me. I am thankful in a way to say I went through this because I wouldn't be who I am today without these experiences. I am a very spoken, self driven, and strong woman because of everything. I know what I want, I don't put up with less than what I know I don't need to deal with anymore... and I am me. Plain. Old. Simple. Me... and I rock at being me. I still have so much life left in me and I have yet to even see what's going to change throughout time. It took me two years after high school to finally accept the past for what it was and actually let it go. In which I might have not fully let go, but I know my worth and I know what I want in my life and that's positive people and vibes around me only.

To myself, and to whomever might be in the exact same shoes,

Princess J

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