Certain things are ingrained in my mind forever.
They are things that a little voice constantly reminds me of when I'm up or I'm down. Those "things" have been put there by people that have made hurtful comments toward me, whether they meant to or not. They may or may not have known that I would see the truth behind their words, but I always have. I can't really help but to do so.
Words hurt, and they last forever.
I've had people say to me, "You know you would be beautiful if you just lost some weight." I've even had a person call me "little head, big body." The weight of these words hit me like a ton of bricks, and I'm constantly reminded of them when I allow myself to believe what those people said about me. Words aren't a mere thing people can forget.
The phrase, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words may never hurt me" has never been true.
Words cut the deepest. They do so because they linger in the back of our minds and help to bring insecurity back into existence. The words people use against us become the words we use against ourselves. Words cut even deeper when they come from someone close to you. I've had people that are very close to me make snide remarks about my size or looks without ever noticing that they did so. Those comments cut deeper than any of the other things that have been said to me. Why? Because they come from people who are supposed to lift me up and love me despite my flaws.
The strength of God's love for me is stronger than the strength of words.
I've come to realize that the only one who can love me despite my flaws is God, my unconditional Savior. He constantly reminds me that I am beautiful no matter what anyone says; that I am beautiful even if someone may see my body as disproportionate.
Because of God's love, I know that those snide remarks can't hurt the beauty that rests inside of me. I am beautiful. Words don't define me. What people don't know is that I continue to struggle to see that beauty because of them. They don't know what I would do to be a different size. They don't see how their words affect me.
But they don't see what my God sees either. He sees perfection. He sees beauty. And because of His love, I know I can overcome anything. I can overcome my weight. I can overcome what I think I cannot do. I can overcome those snide remarks. I can overcome the voice that tells me I'm not good enough.
And most of all, I can overcome hurtful words. I am more than those words. I am beautiful. I am His.
"You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way." Song of Solomon 4:7 (NLT)
