Before we get started, if you don't want to read about the realities of being an African American in the present day America, then please don't read this article. Following that, if you are going to read this just to comment about how I'm incorrect or how I'm just "complaining," then please choose another article to read.
This is something I don't usually do because I'm not one that likes to get into heated debates on the internet regarding controversial topics. But I hate the feeling of waking up to yet another fatality, and especially of an African American man at the hands of the police. Now, this isn't going to be an attack on the police or anything, I want to make that clear. This is simply me speaking out about the recent events that have occurred and how I feel.
I'm sure you've heard about the incidents involving both Alton Sterling and Philando Castile. At this point, I don't even have words anymore. I don't truly know what to say other than the fact that I'm angry, enraged even. The comments I read on the videos that have surfaced, the comments under people's photos sending out prayers to the families of the victims, tweets that people write extending condolences — the hate is endless. Honestly, it's horrifying to know that I live in a world with this much chaos. It's even more horrifying to live in this world as an African American and be aware of such atrocities that occur almost every day now.
I can no longer sit here and not speak out about how I feel as an African American. I'm not going to hide my opinions from my friends, my family or even those around me that I interact with in small doses.
Although, we are scared, we still manage to stand stronger than ever. In addition to being ridiculed for the melanin within our skin, the texture of our hair, the style of our clothing, the features of our physique and the many other stereotypes that have been attached to our race, we now must fear for our lives. I as an African American woman too fear not only for my own life, but for the life of my family members, my friends and frankly, all African Americans in general.
We often ask: "How many more?" "When will it stop?" "Who's next?" "Am I next?" However, we are still encouraged to question "How can we make a change?" and "Where do we begin?" It starts with us, the black community in America. Change isn't going to come from those who don't understand the daily struggles of being African American in such a cruel world. Change starts with us.
We live in a nation that is supposed to be "free," and yet we as a race are still confined by degrading stereotypes and the chains of our past. Not all of us are the same. Of course, anyone can be a criminal, but I believe that someone that has a criminal past, who has turned their life around for the better, should no longer labeled as such. The people in their lives have forgiven them and moved on so why can't we? It's not directly affecting us to bring up someone's past and ever more, it's really not any of our business what their past consists of.
Using their past to justify them being brutally murdered is simply atrocious. Grasping for anything, whether it's a mugshot, a criminal record, a speeding ticket or even shoplifting when they were a child to justify why they were labeled as "dangerous" and why they had reason to be afraid is disgusting. The lives of family members, especially children, have been turned upside down due to the loss of the victims in these cases.
I cannot stress enough that I know not every police officer is bad, and not everyone is racist. The simple fact is that by being African American and having to experience consistent oppression throughout my life and being witness to the oppressive nature that subtly creeps into daily conversations as well as the visually recorded incidents such as the ones of the past few days, has made me a little more aware of my surroundings and choices.
I don't want to have to feel like I have to watch my back anymore than the next person, but unfortunately aside from having to work much harder to prove my intelligence, abilities and God given talents, I now have to be more conscious of the things I choose to do and the places I choose to go.
No one should have to live their life with these thoughts constantly lurking in the back of their mind. I don't think about it all the time to the point where it haunts my thoughts, but it is always there looming in my mind, the reality that my decisions are always at the mercy of my oppressors. The issue of racism is something that is just thrown around. For those who believe that we "pull the race card" too often are those who are ignorant to real struggles of being an African American. A lot of people want to pretend to be black or to imitate our styles and listen to our music, but at the end of the day would not actually want to be black.
A lot of people see the issues within events relating to Alton Sterling and Philando Castile, but don't want to speak up about it for the fear of losing friends, or fear of being in a vulnerable/uncomfortable situation or even, God forbid, risking their own life to evoke change. Change is hard, that's why a lot of people choose to remain the same or stick with what's comfortable because it's easier.
Honestly, I don't know where to start exactly, but this article is where I let it be known that I'm fed up. Again, in no way, shape, or form am I saying that all police officers are bad or all Caucasians are racist or that everyone is set out to oppress African Americans. However, the media coverage as well as my experiences so far in life certainly have changed the reality of African American life here in America.
