When I was younger,

I always wondered why I was never enough,

I always wondered why you didn’t keep us,

I always wondered why you were never home,

I always wondered why you left us alone,

I always wondered why you loved drugs more than me,

I always wondered why I only saw you twice a week,

I always wondered why Grammy got mad when you’d come home late at night,

I always wondered why you two got into big fights,

I always wondered why you’d leave after we had good days together,

I always wondered if there was anything I could do to make you better,

I always wondered why when you were home Grammy was so mean,

I always wondered what everyone meant when they said you weren’t clean,

But As I got older,

I always wondered why you started visiting less,

I always wondered why I couldn’t go when you left,

I always wondered why you never called to see how I was,

I always wondered when you’d stop doing drugs,

I always wondered who gave you the bruises and black eyes,

I always wondered when you would leave if you could hear my cries,

I always wondered why you still left every time I’d ask you to stay,

I always wondered what would happen if I ran away,

I always wondered why in Sunday School, I always mentioned you in my prayers,

I always wondered why every time I came home I had hopes that you’d be upstairs,

I always wondered why you’d fill my head with so many lies,

I always wondered why I tried so hard to keep you in my life.

I’m thankful for the women who have been mom-figures to me,

From coming to my track meets, or telling me to be all I can be,

From putting a roof over my head and putting clothes on my back,

From seeing potential in me, and never letting me slack,

For everything that you’ve done for me, that you never had to do,

I just want to say thank you, and I promise to repay you.