Due to today's societal views, women are often shamed for what they wear, and this is one of the largest reasons I will never understand modern feminism. Too often have I heard comments from other women like, "They only dress like that to get attention," or, "They only do that because they have low self-esteem."
Guess what? Those aren't the magical determining factors for deciding how to dress. Who says a woman needs a man's approval for what she's wearing?
"The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet." - Mohadesa Najumi
This is one of my favorite quotes because it's exactly right. Although this quote isn't specifically about fashion, it's accurate in that a woman does not require validation from others about how she dresses. Why should your opinion determine my everyday life? If everyone were to dress exactly the same, the fashion industry wouldn't exist.
"People don't tell you who you are. You tell them." - Serena Van der Woodsen, "Gossip Girl"
I've always been my own person and made my own decisions about what to wear regardless of others, but that doesn't mean that the comments never get to me. I've still had times where I go to buy something and in the back of my mind think, "OK, but how is _____ going to comment on this?" No, I don't care what you think in the end, but I still don't appreciate the negativity. I know who I am, and your opinion will not change that.
Here's what I don't understand — men aren't allowed to make degrading comments about women and what they wear, as it should be, but why is there a double standard? Women tear each other apart constantly over what they wear, and I don't get it. We don't want men to do it, so obviously the best answer is to do it to each other instead. How about we don't it at all?
"Real queens fix each other's crowns." - Unknown
In a world where people constantly tear each other apart, women should be lifting each other up. You can have your own values and decisions about what you want to wear. I'm not telling you that you can't; however, who cares if someone's dress is slightly shorter than what you would personally wear? Does that mean you should shame her for her decision? No. If a woman decides to wear a bikini instead of a more modest swimsuit style that you prefer, does that mean you should shame her? No. She shouldn't shame you for your choice just as you shouldn't shame her for hers.
"Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak." - Rachel Zoe
You can't automatically make assumptions about people based on what you would wear. Fashion is an incredible industry that cultivates creative minds, and believe it or not, people are allowed to dress for themselves. I read a funny anonymous quote that stated, "I don't dress up for boys. I dress up to stare at my reflection as I walk by store windows." Fashion pushes boundaries of what we know to be possible, and it's not going to be the same for everyone.
"A girl should be two things: who and what she wants. " - Coco Chanel
I wear what I feel comfortable in. I choose patterns, colors and cuts based on what I like and feel good in. I don't choose based on what others will think of me. If you have negative thoughts about me due to what I wear, I want you to know that that's on you. Why should two women wearing the exact same thing receive drastically different comments based on who they're around?
"I know my value. Anyone else's opinion doesn't really matter." - Peggy Carter, "Agent Carter"
Does what I wear really determine my worth, though? I mentioned earlier that I've heard comments like, "They only do that because they have low self-esteem." Why? If they supposedly wear what they do because of low self-esteem, how are your comments supposed to make things better? At the end of the day, are your comments really going to change the woman?
"Clothes aren't going to change the world, the women who wear them will." - Anne Klein
PREACH. What I wear doesn't make me less of a person. Your opinion will not stop me from accomplishing goals, and it will not stop me from my own choices.
There's no real reason to contribute to the negativity of societal constructs of how women are "supposed to be" when we already have plenty of people doing it. So, "Here's to strong women. May we know them, may we be them, may we raise them" (Unknown).
