I clench my keys in my fist tighter. I quicken my pace as I hear footsteps behind me. The nearest streetlight is only about twenty steps away; I just need twenty steps to be in clear view. The footsteps get closer and I unlock my phone with my other hand. I make sure the "Call" feature on my phone is easy to press.
I clench my keys tighter in my fist. Quicken my pace. I try to turn my head towards the street in hopes to see the footsteps behind me in the corner of my eye. I can’t. Quicken my pace. I pass the streetlight. The footsteps get closer. I walk faster. My apartment is only a couple of steps away. I quickly open the gate and vigorously push the gate behind me shut. The footsteps continue. But they weren’t following me. I just thought that they were.
As a woman, it has been engrained in me to be afraid to walk alone; either in broad daylight or at night in fear that I’ll be attacked, assaulted, or kidnapped.
When I was little, my parents opted to pick me up from school rather than just letting me walk a couple of houses down the street.
When I got my first job, my manager insisted that she drive me to my car after a long shift.
When I was in a sorority, we had carpools and walking groups from events and meetings so no one would walk alone. When I moved to college, my sister bought me pepper spray.
As a woman, we are taught to incorporate these precautions in our daily lives; so much so that they don’t even seem to be precautions, just regular everyday things that every woman does. However, it wasn’t until college where I noticed that my male peers did not have to take these extra measures to ensure their safety.
They could walk home alone at night, go on a jog after their evening classes, and even learned to offer their accompaniment to their female counterparts on walks after dark. It came to my realization that we live in a world where women live in fear.
Is our world so distorted that half of our population is scared of simply walking to their cars? To their apartments? Is our world so distorted that women fear for their lives every time they stay a little later at the office or walking across campus after an evening class? Is our world so distorted that rather than teaching people not to rape or assault, we teach people how not to GET raped or assaulted?
We are taught to take these precautions so that we don’t become victims, but why don’t we teach not to be the attacker? Because I am tired. I’m tired of living my life in fear and not being able to just walk to my fucking car at night, or to my apartment after class, or to a party on a Friday night. I’m tired of being careful about what I wear or where I walk. I’m tired of asking my guy friends to come “protect” me. I’m tired of being scared of every footstep behind me.
