Everyone knows that being a pre-med student creates a stressful and sometimes toxic environment in college. Every pre-med student seems to be competing against each other, trying to get the best grades, racking up clinical experience and shadowing hours, volunteering during every free minute they could possibly get. If a pre-med student is not studying, they are doing something else to boost themselves above their competition.
One of my biggest flaws, yet I take pride in it, is that my grades define who I am. If I don't get an A on an exam, I am crushed. Am I worthy of making it into medical school and becoming a doctor? Am I worthy enough to even call myself a pre-med student? On the other hand, if I do get an A on an exam, I experience imposter syndrome.
Over time though, this mindset has slightly changed. I am starting to accept that I am human. I am going to make mistakes, I am going to find certain classes difficult, I am going to want to hang out with friends instead of studying. However, I never expected I was going to need to withdraw from a class in my entire lifetime.
When I first came to the realization that there was a high possibility that I will need to withdraw from physics, I was in denial. I swore to myself I would not do that. I began attending every single office hours my professor held and was annoying all the tutors with my questions for the next two weeks. Doing this though, I started to slack in my other classes. Did I want to get mediocre grades in ALL of my classes, or do I want to do great in the classes I was already doing great in?
I started to read up on pre-med forums and looking into other pre-med students' experiences when it came to withdrawing from a class. In the end, I learned that withdrawing will result in a BIG W on my transcript, but it won't result in killing my GPA like getting a C or failing the class would. I decided to take the hit and withdrew from my physics class because I realized my GPA was more important than what my peers thought of me. That was it. I did not want to withdraw because I did not want the other pre-med students to think I was not worthy of becoming a doctor just because I struggled in a physics class.
The opposite happened though. I immediately felt relieved since I could finally focus on my other classes and still do very well in them. I no longer had physics holding me back. My pre-med friends automatically saw how happier I was too.
With situations that seem to hold you back, there is always a light. Withdrawing from physics made me realize I could potentially graduate early, and have a full 5 to 6 months of studying for the MCAT, or I can finally pick up a second job and save up for the medical school application cycles as it is costly.
In the end, while I still wish I was in physics, passing the class with an A, that is not the case. I have learned that my mental wellbeing and performance in other areas should not have to lack because of one single class.
