Dear daddy,

It’s been seven years and it still does not feel real. The first couple months were hard, I would wake up and forget you’re not here. I would wait for you to come home until I remembered, you weren’t coming back. I still get that feeling sometimes, it is one of the worst feelings in the world. I wish I could’ve done something to prevent this from happened, I know there was nothing I could do but I still think about it. 

I miss the energy you would bring into the room. I swear, you could turn anyone’s bad day to a good day. You were an amazing brother, cousin, nephew, son and most importantly father. You may not be my biological father but I consider you to be. You did so much for me and I didn’t realize it until now. You stepped up to be a father figure for me even though you did not have to be. I don’t remember when we first met but I know you were still in college. That’s crazy to think when you met me you were the age I am. I could not even imagine doing what you did for me. Not to mention all the shows, movies, and music you learned because of me.

I miss just spending time with you. Whether it was us going shopping which was always an adventure. The times you helped me with math homework, wish you were here now because math is still my worst subject. I remember all those times we’d listen to music. We’d plug my iPod into a speaker and play music from Hannah Montana to rap. All the Disney movies you’d watch with me. You even put a Justin Bieber poster in our kitchen. I’ll never forget when I went to the Jonas Brothers concert with mom and you came too. You lifted me up so I could see better and sang all the songs with me. 

You are more than just a step dad to me. You are somebody I admire so much. You are smart, you are kind, you are loving, you are funny, you have such a big heart, and such an amazing person. I wish you were here today to see how far I have come. It hasn’t been easy but I’m still standing. I wish you could’ve been here to help me move into college. I wish you could’ve seen me graduate. Oh my god I wish you could’ve been here when I got my permit. I can only imagine you teaching me to drive. There are so many things that you missed out on, it kills me you couldn’t be here to experience all the these with me. 

I am so thankful for the time I did get to spend with you. I treasure those memories every day. I wish I could hug you one more time and just let you know how much I love you and how thankful I am for you. I hope that you’re proud of me and everything I accomplished. I wish I could just hug you one more time, tell you about my day, and tell you I love you. You were the best dad I could’ve ever hoped for. You are amazing and I hope you realize how great of a father you truly were.

I love you always

Love your baby girl