Probably one of the hardest things for me to do in my life is to assert myself. I consider asserting myself hard because I am a people-pleaser at heart, so I do not like to make people mad. I am also quite introverted and have a hard time making friends. As a result, I worry about asserting myself around people who are mean because I dread losing one of the few friends I have. However, the times I have stood up for myself whether it was to a friend or to a professor I gained immense satisfaction from knowing that I got what I wanted. I try to remind myself of the comfort I feel when I stand up for myself when I am afraid to do so because having someone take advantage of you is an awful feeling.
Not every person in the world is a terrible person, but some people see someone that is less conducive to assert themselves and try to take advantage of them. I want to remind those who have similar feelings about standing up for themselves that if you have to end your friendship with that person or that person is offended by you asserting themselves; they are not a worthwhile person to you. Do not be hard on yourself if you have failed to stand up for yourself in the past because standing up for yourself takes practice. Being an introvert and a people-pleaser can make it harder for me to stand up for myself at times, especially when I think that having a connection to the person or people is advantageous to me. I have to practice asserting myself more than someone who is more extroverted and that I have to put my feelings above the feelings of the other party.
I think that standing up for myself as an introvert and people-pleaser are crucial because people have thought they can easily manipulate these types of people. Asserting myself shatters the image that these people have of introverts and people-pleasers and reminds them that they should not walk all over me. More generally, being assertive in any aspect of your life is important because some people will try anything to get you to do what they want. You have to be able to say that you are uncomfortable with a situation because you do not want to give people a reason to disrespect you. To my fellow introverts and people-pleasers remember that you are worth something. Just because you have traits that society deems undesirable does not mean that others should deny you respect. If you have a person in your life that is doing something that you do not like, say so because they need to know that you are a person with thoughts and feelings.
Asserting yourself is imperative to functioning in the world, but it is especially crucial for introverts and people-pleasers to learn because people already think they can manipulate you. So practice and practice some more because you do not have to please everyone or bend to someone’s preconceived image of you. You are worth it and do not let someone tell you differently.
