Growing up, I was apart of the ‘Mean Girls’ generation. In the sixth grade, the film had just come out and Regina George was all the rage. Girls made a point to be mean to other girls because that’s what Lindsay Lohan and Rachel McAdams did. The early 2000’s were full of catty women in popular culture. Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag were constantly feuding on ‘The Hills’ while Paris, Nicole and Lindsay partied hard and fought over boys. These were our role models. Being mean was the cool thing to do. That was also the beginning of the social media age, so MySpace, Facebook and ask.fm were brand new. These sites were the catalyst that started the cyberbullying era. They made it so easy to target people who you didn’t like and our parents and teachers had no idea how to combat it because they had never dealt with cyberbullying. They didn’t know how to help or how to stop it because you really couldn’t. Social media continues to be an untamable beast.

It’s been over ten years since ‘Mean Girls’ was released and I like to believe there’s been a major shift in female role models. Today we have Taylor Swift, Selena Gomez, Lena Dunham, Mindy Kaling and more who all strive to create female friendships within their artistic communities. It’s a great time to be a female in popular culture. Bullying has moved to the forefront of school policies and government legislation and is constantly being combated. Female friendships are far from perfect but they’ve definitely taken a positive turn. We’ve even seen a new term coined that has celebrated the importance of female relationships and groups of female friends. This term is one I’m sure you’ve seen and maybe even used yourself; it is the term “squad”. Basically, “girl squads” are groups of female friends who are all the same age. They are all confident and successful. Girl squads don’t focus on relationships with boys nor do they seek the approval of men. They are focused on each other and their goals. Throughout Instagram I see groups of girls using the hashtag “#squadgoals” to describe their relationships with their female friends. The trend of girl squads is still fairly new.

Don’t get me wrong though, I love this trend. As a feminist and a sorority member, nothing makes me happier than seeing young women support each other, grow and succeed together. I love that. That is so important. But there is apart of me that wonders if these #squadgoals are the new “You can’t sit with us”. I’m hesitant to post and participate because I often wonder if my squad is another girl’s clique. I know how terrible it feels to be left out and I wonder if this new trend could potentially be just as damaging as cliques. I’ve spent a long time wondering if I should have a squad. But I’ve come to the conclusion that squads are not as important as we think they are.

My argument is that you do not have to be in a clique or a squad to succeed in life or to feel fulfilled. Female friendships are so important but what’s even more important is being yourself and finding out who you are. The goal shouldn’t be to create a squad. It should be to create lasting friendships that add value to your life. I have sorority friends, hometown friends, school friends, and work friends. Do all of these girls hang out with me all together? No, definitely not. But all of these people add value to my life. It’s human nature to believe we have to run in packs to survive but I don’t believe that’s true. Squads aren’t necessary. Friendships are.

So be yourself and do your thing but don’t let Regina George or Taylor Swift or anyone else make you think that you aren’t whole if you don’t have a clique. Impact people and let them impact you. Be caring and thoughtful and kind. That is what is the most important.