“I miss you, I still love you, do you want to try again?” You have probably heard a sentence similar to this one at some point in your life. Now there are two ways that you can respond to this, either way, you’ll know the answer immediately. Option one you could say something along the lines of, “Oh my god yes! I love you so much and have been waiting for you!” Option two would go a little something like this, “Oh my god, are you serious? You think I would want to get back with you? No, goodbye.” Now I suppose it depends on the situation and the circumstances considering each relationship is different than the next. I feel like your ex should not be your next. I’m going to share my story of my ex-being my next, and how that turned out.
One night I got a text that read this, “I hope I find what we had one day, I hope you do too.” This sentence started a three-day texting spree between my ex and I. We talked about us and our future and how much we loved each other. We made plans for the next month and we were so excited and loved each other so much, almost stronger than the last time we were together. I was ready to drop everything and drive over 100 miles to see him at college, and I did just that. I went to the store and bought him so much stuff. I Got my shifts covered at work, got someone to take care of my dogs, filled my gas tank and left. The plan was I would spend Saturday-Monday there. Saturday night I got there and I was nervous and so excited. My heart and mind were everywhere. I called him to find my way, and I was almost hyperventilating. I pulled into the parking lot and saw him. I parked my car and he came and got in. We just kissed and held each other. We drove about ten minutes away, parked the car and just sat there. We talked and kissed and embraced each other. We did this for about two hours. Then I bought us some food, and we went back to his dorm and had probably the best night of my life. We were up until three in the morning talking, cuddling, and just having the best time. It was like how we used to be, except better. We fell asleep in each other’s arms for the first time in almost a year. It was so amazing to see him smile again. I was the happiest I’d been for a very long time. We woke up and kissed and said how much we loved each other. We got up, got dressed, and were about to head out for breakfast. I bought us breakfast at this cute little diner downtown, I noticed something was off. Something was different with him. We went out to my car and then began a conversation, one that I wish never happened. About how we used to be, all the bad, and how it affected how he felt now. I was broken, devastated, and crushed. I drove us back to his dorm while trying to keep my composure together. We parked and talked some more, eventually leading to us going to grab my stuff from his dorm. We said our goodbyes and said that we would still talk to each other as friends. I got into my car and started sobbing, and drove over 100 miles’ home. It was the longest and most terrible car ride of my life. I was uncontrollably sobbing the whole way home. I wanted to drive my car off of the road. I was heartbroken.
The following days were horrible until I realized something. He was hurting too. A part of him did love me still, but he just couldn’t be with me right now. It was too soon to be together like we used to again. All the fights and bad memories were still there, and we had to forget about them before we could start anything new. You wouldn’t want to be constantly reminded or scared of the things in the past. This is why your ex should not be your next. You still love them, but the memories of the bad times are still there and they still hurt. It’s hard to just push them aside and devote your life to a relationship that once hurt you. We were apart ten months, and maybe that just wasn’t long enough. I feel like we need to see other people, and if our love is meant to be it will happen one day. After your ex, you need to date other people. The memories of being with someone else will take the place of being with your ex and you will fall in love with someone else. Try something else, try being with someone else. No matter how much you love your ex, they really shouldn’t be the next person you date after you break up. No matter how much they have changed, your memories will still be there. The main idea here is, move on with life. Don't run back to your ex, they are your past. You broke up for a reason, if it was a big enough reason to make you break up once, it will be a big enough reason to break up twice.
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