There is this idea that someone can choose who they are attracted to. I disagree. You see, for those who might try and jump onto the Gay bandwagon, first of all it will fade away after a while and second, they will never truly understand why someone wouldn't want to choose to be gay.
I grew up going to church every Sunday. Learning that marriage is something holy, to be shared between a man and women. Because that is the way it was instituted. For the creation of life. The first time I met someone who was gay, was in High School. I didn't grow up with gay parents, gay siblings, aunts, uncles, or cousins. Yet, I always knew that something was different. Girls would talk about their celebrity crushes, and the females that they wanted to be like. For me, my crushes were females.
I tried to hide it though. Somehow it made sense in my mind that I could date my way into being straight. I fought with myself, trying to find these guys attractive. I couldn't.
It wasn't until I left my family and went to college that my way of thinking changed. I began thinking that my life does not go on forever, and so I should live it being happy and not trying to fit into this mold that was set before me. My life was changed the moment I decided to let myself be free.
A year later, I met the love of my life. I had to fight for her attention. I had to prove to her that I was something different, something more. I also proved to myself that I could move on past those who had hurt me, and be happy again. Now this is where the important part of the article begins. Why, if being gay was choice, I wouldn't choose it.
We were on a little vacation to Washington DC and walking down the sidewalk on our way to dinner, holding hands. Someone passed us and said "That's just disgusting." We brushed it off our shoulders and tried not to let it bother us. People's opinions are their own.
We went to Church... in an attempt to show her a little about my faith because I do still consider myself a Catholic. At least for an hour, keep our relationship a secret. And then, when the priest baptized a baby that day...we realized something that hit close to home. If we ended up having a child, and wanted it baptized in the Church, we wouldn't be able to do it. I could never get married in the Church.
Thankfully, my family accepted my girlfriend and I. A few friends were unwilling to have an open mind. But that's okay.
There are always 3 sides when we tell people that we are together. 1. That's gross. 2. That's cool. 3. That's hot.
I don't think anyone wants their relationship to be seen as a porno. I don't think anyone wants their relationship to be seen as illegitimate because of gender.
My reality isn't that different
from anyone else. I wake up, kiss my girlfriend goodbye as she goes to
work, I go to school, take care of our pets and the house. We go out to
dinner, movies...we sit on the couch and talk about life and the future.
We celebrate Christmas, Easter, and all the holidays just the same.
In reality, being in a gay relationship is nothing different from being in a straight one. Expect people insult you, the Church does not agree with you, and you risk losing your family and friends.
Being Gay is not a choice. No one would choose to be insulted while walking down the street. No one would choose (if it's true) to go to hell. No one would choose to lose everyone they love because of their sexuality. Being Gay comes with those obstacles and chances.
If you come out, you take that chance and there is no going back.
It was the best chance I've ever taken.
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