If you remember anything about the show “Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide,” it should be that it was a program on Nickelodeon that aired over 10 years ago, its purpose to give tips to surviving middle school. While recently reflecting on the show, I realized that we, as the old audience of that show, desperately need a “college and beyond” version of said show.
The show dealt with many problems, ranging from how to handle your first day of school to how to handle and acquire money. It doesn’t matter who you are; to some degree these tips are applicable to you.
If the “Ned’s Declassified” were turned into a guide for those in college and anything beyond that, its viewers who watched 10 years ago might finally know how to function in their daily life, because let’s face it, without the help of Ned and his friends showing us to survive middle school through hilarious hijinks, we never would have gotten through it. Here are some reasons why we need this show to be real.
Reason #1: College is Scary
If you’re going to your first year of college, it is likely that you’ll be living independently from your parental people. That in itself is scary. No longer will you be able to ask your mom to make you a meal or help you feel better if you’re sick. Now it’s all on you. If we had Ned telling us that everything would be OK, maybe we’d actually believe it! We could get advice on how to survive our first day of living with the mysterious entity that is our roommate. Through trial and error, he could tell us about how some professors are way better than others, and that “Rate My Professor” is definitely a thing.
Reason #2: You’re On Your Own
Now that you are a strong and independent college student, you have to start providing for yourself. You may or may not be ready, but if Ned was there to guide you, you would be. He could tell you about dining hall food and how it is just OK, and that sometimes it’s better to eat a cup of ramen back in your room. He could also teach you financial practices, and because you are on your own, you have to be careful about what you're spending your money on. You can't just go buy a ten-pound bag of taffy because you want to be that person.
Reason #3: You Don’t Know How to Do the Thing
Just because you’re in college doesn’t mean you know how to do it all. There are simple things that you might have forgotten to learn because, back at home, someone always took care of it for you. Maybe you don’t actually know how to do laundry. Maybe you don’t know how to take care of yourself when you do eventually get sick. Well, if “Ned’s Declassified” had a college alternative, Ned could teach you all about it. The program could demonstrate just how to do your laundry or show you what your life will be like when you’re sick, because mommy is not around right now.
If “Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide” was aimed at a collegiate audience, we might have some idea of what to do. Just remember that “results may vary.”
