It is often said, “learn to love yourself before you can love anyone else” or “put yourself first.” Although this sounds like it would be crucial to your wellbeing, it actually isn’t. In fact, who says we don’t already love ourselves more than anyone else? Think about the little things we do throughout our week: post photos, go shopping, watch a movie, eat good food, listen to music. Are we not driven daily by what people think of us, or what we want to wear, eat, watch and hear? I’m not saying these are bad things, but why make it a goal to put ourselves first when we are already doing that daily? We are all victim to this selfish way of living, and although it is enjoyable, what good does it really do?
“’Everything is permissible,’ but not everything is beneficial. ‘Everything is permissible,’ but not everything is edifying. No one should seek his own good, but the good of others.” (1 Corinthians 10:23-24).
This passage is often overlooked in our daily lives. Most of the things we do each day are driven by our own desires, but the truth is that true joy does not lie within ourselves; it does not lie within ourselves because that is not where God is. As believers in Christ, all of our hope and delight should be in Him. And through Him, we are then able to accept His love and live it out daily.
C.S. Lewis says in "The Screwtape Letters", “when they have really learned to love their neighbors as themselves, they will be allowed to love themselves as their neighbors.” That is a lot to digest because it is so foreign to us. Lewis says that once we put as much effort into loving others as we do for ourselves everyday, we are then allowed to love ourselves as much as we love others. Think of what this world would look like if we were selfless, empathetic, humble ambassadors for Christ, overlooking our own needs and eagerly meeting the needs of others first. Once we get to that point of caring about people, listening to their stories, always thinking of ways to make their lives better, we are changed. We are less of the person that we came into this world as and more of the person that God intends us to be.
The love of God is within us who believe, but if not applied to others, what good can it do through us? Loving others does not always involve doing what we want to do, but I guarantee that it will accomplish more for God’s kingdom than “loving yourself” ever will.
The second of God’s greatest commandments is this “love your neighbor as yourself”. God knows us and He calls us to love others as much as ourselves because He knows that is a lot.
God has given us a freedom through His Spirit, but we cannot merely use that freedom to just do what benefits us. Let’s use our freedom to serve one another in love, that’s how freedom grows.
