I came across a realization recently, or maybe not a realization, but more like a constant observation while binge watching Friends for the 1600th time. When you watch the group hang out in Monica's apartment or at Central Perk, they are never staring at a screen. They are always in the present, in the now, looking at their friends when they talk, reading a book, or just enjoying the ambiance of the coffee shop. They never spend hours on their phone, tagging their friends in posts they think they'll like. They all are face to face. I am aware that the majority of this show took place in the 90s, where social media was not as big as it is now, or even had as many platforms invented, but it's always interesting to look back at the times when people could have actual conversations without the interruption of a notification.
The thing about quitting social media, although our society is very capable, we can't ever truly give it up and go back to BSC (Before Social Media) times. It's too important these days. Why? The world doesn't work the same way it did when social media didn't exist. It's how our communication has evolved, how businesses spread awareness, and how we keep in contact with old friends, how we find jobs, etc.
As much as we might try to limit ourselves from all of these applications, all of the New Year resolutions we make to quit being glued to our phones, we will never be able to, not in this day and age. It's like once we see something, we can't unsee it. Once we learn 2+2=4, we don't argue with it, or try to find ways around it. It is what it is. Our world just cannot go back to writing on typewriters, or sending letters. It's not realistic. We can delete all of our accounts, but you're really only hurting yourself. So for me, the question becomes "how should we be using social media?" If it's impossible to completely quit it in a world where 70 million and more people aren't willing to do the same thing, what should we be doing?
We should be finding a balance for ourselves, whatever that means for yourself. We should decide what we want from our feeds, instead of letting them control what we see, or what they think we want to see. For me, this meant to delete certain apps. The ones that I used mindlessly. It also meant to clean my feed by turning off notifications from certain pages. You don't need to be notified that the new yoga place downtown just installed new floors, unless maybe you're wondering if that means your 5 p.m. class is cancelled. I managed to remove a lot of advertisements for things I wasn't even interested in.
My social media use is not perfect, but I've found ways to use apps in the way that I want, and not letting them use me. I find myself being more present in life, while still staying in contact with old friends, seeing events happening in town, keeping my hobby of reading my favorite celebrity news, and staying up to date on trends.
Instead of finding ways to quit 100 percent, decide what you want to get out of social media.
