Every holiday season for my family consists of deciding if its worth even doing anything, figuring out who is going to be home and fighting about God knows what in between. I don't really remember a time where holidays were fun, and I don't have traditions and memories to share when all of my friends are telling stories and the attention gets turned towards me because they expect me to have them as well.

This time of year I find myself envying all of the people in my life who have big families to celebrate with and traditions to uphold and holiday parties to attend. While my holiday's consist of deciding which friend I'm going to tag along with and figuring out how we are even going to get the Christmas tree up.

I love holiday cheer, I'm definitely not a Scrooge or a Grinch. But this time of year is a painful reminder of how broken my family is, and it makes me sad every time I think about it.

I never really cared about the presents or any of that, I always just wanted my family to be together and to get along. And now at nineteen, I find myself still not caring about the gifts I receive, finding a place to spend my holidays is so much more important to me.

Every time I see someone taking advantage of all that they have around this season, I remind them that they should be grateful, because even though I'm obviously aware that every family has their roubles in paradise and everyone's problems are differently sized mountains to climb, I would kill to just have a place to feel like I belong and like I'm not imposing on my best friend's holidays.

So this holiday season, extend your gratitude passed Thanksgiving and remember all you have to be thankful for during Christmas and Hanukkah and all the holidays you celebrate. You're lucky for what you have, even if you need to remind yourself of what you have and why you're even lucky for it. Show thanks and spread that holiday cheer, there's a lot of sad and lonely people around you that need it.