My entire life I've grown up around the Catholic church. It's really one of the only things that has remanded a constant in my life. On Sundays my family went to church, we were all Baptized in the church, and my parents were married in a church. My siblings and I all went to Catholic school from Pre-K until high school. Every single day that I went to school for those twelve years, we started off the morning everyday with a prayer.

I was taught that it's proper to pray every day, no matter what the circumstances. Before a meal, at the start and end of the day, when something good happens, when something bad happens, if you're troubled or confused, .etc, the list just goes on and on. I knew that I was supposed to be praying to God to give thanks or to ask for assistance, but I never knew why it was so important for me to do it. Now, I'm not saying that I don't believe in him or in his spirit, I do believe, but I just never understood why it should be so important for me personally. I never had that deep connection with religion like everybody else did. And it just seemed like it came to so easy to others that I was too afraid to ask questions about it. I was scared that I would be judged because of my lack of faith, so I guess you could say that I gave up on it for a while. I sat there, bowed my head, and mumbled along with the crowd, saying words that really didn't mean anything to me.

This phase of mine went on for awhile. When someone started talking about how religion had changed their life or how God had called them to do something, I would simply just nod my head and smile, congratulating them on finding themselves. Deep down, though, I would feel sorry for them in a way. I'd tell myself that they had just been enveloped in a sense of nostalgia. That they depended on this higher power because they weren't strong enough to handle their own lives. This is what I would tell myself. I wanted to believe they the ones who were in the wrong because I couldn't understand it myself. I thought that if I pretended that they were the ignorant ones, I wouldn't feel like I was the one that was oozing in ignorance.

It wasn't really until after my freshmen year of college that this negative perception I had started to change. I begun to meet so many people who had lost souls like mine. It amazed me that I wasn't alone, and for the first time I wasn't afraid of being unaccepted just because I was unsure of who I was. I learned that even though I've never had a personal connection with God, it was okay to still believe. Because believing in something, even if it's not 100%, it still better than believing in nothing. Religion isn't just about laws or rules that you must follow in order to live a more fulfilled life. It's about believing in something genuine and good. It's about knowing when something bad happens there is hope.

I started to pray again because I like knowing that whether or not God is listening, I'm still hoping for good. If it's for myself or someone else, as long as I'm putting out a hopeful atmosphere, it will be better. That's why when I see a broken down car on the side of the room, watch a tragedy unfold on the news, or hear about a friend or family member who is ill, I just do the sign of the cross and say a quick prayer. I pray that no matter what is going on in my life or another's, that good will come forth. That no matter how bad or horrible the odds may seem, good will overcome. If you put good forth, then good will come from it. It is impossible to live a positive life when you only put forth negative ideas.