We've all heard the constant shaming that is given to any girl that chooses to spend most of their time with their boyfriend. And if I'm being honest, I used to do it myself. It used to hurt my feelings when my friends with boyfriends would choose to do things with them or other couples instead of me. I was one of those people who thought, "They'll regret it when they break up and don't have any friends anymore." And I always thought it couldn't really be that hard to balance your friendship with your girlfriends and your boyfriend.
However, now I know that I could not have been more wrong. It actually is incredibly hard to maintain a good balance between your romantic relationship and your platonic friendships. And for anyone who would disagree, I am genuinely impressed. Because for me, it certainly isn't that simple.
Not only do I understand their side of it, but now I'm even one of them. I will be the first to admit that I spent the majority of my free time with my boyfriend. And the truth is, I wouldn't have it any other way. What I didn't understand before was that in a relationship once you start dating someone, they quickly become your best friend, too.
I love all my girlfriends. I wouldn't trade any of them for the world. And yes, there are some things that I share with them that I don't with my boyfriend. But I would say that that list of things could be counted on one hand or less. I know that my friends will always have my back. And that no matter what we do, we will always have fun together. But at the end of the day, I would say my boyfriend is my best friend without a doubt simply because he sees a side of me that they never will.
He sees my tough and stubborn side, but also my gentle and affectionate side. Sure, I'm affectionate with my friends, too. But anyone who has ever even had romantic feelings for another person knows that there is a clear difference. My problems are his problems and vice versa. When he is having a rough day, it directly affects my day, too.
And he's more similar to me than any friend I've ever had. We truly just see most things in the same way and that makes spending time together even more enjoyable. Now that doesn't mean we agree on everything. We definitely don't. Just like normal friendships, we still disagree and occasionally fight. But the difference is that I know he will never let being right about an argument become more important than our relationship. And I hope he knows that I would do the same for him.
I couldn't tell you how many times I've heard people say it's unhealthy for two people in a relationship to spend all their time together. And I agree with them to a certain extent. If you're spending literally every single second of every single day with only each other, then yes, it is probably an unhealthy relationship. To be clear, I'm absolutely not trying to condone obsessions in any kind of way. But I think we all know there is a distinct difference between an obsessive relationship and a happy one.
And when you really think about it, has anyone ever criticized a wife for spending too much time with her husband? Or have you ever been judged for spending too much time with a specific friend of yours? No, you haven't because that wouldn't make sense. Why would we judge or shame each other for spending time with the person who makes us the happiest?
Because that's just the way it has always been. And if we're being honest, that is how it will probably always be. Yes. I do think it is important to strengthen all of your relationships and not just your romantic one. But if being with your significant other is truly what makes you happy, then never apologize for it. There is too much unhappiness in this world to give up the things that bring us peace.
We don't diminish people who spend all their time with their spouses because we argue that they will spend the rest of their lives together. And in my heart, I truly believe that my boyfriend is that person for me. And that is not something I'm afraid to say. Before anything else, my boyfriend will always be first and foremost my best friend. And that is something I would never apologize for.
"Every girl has her best friend, her boyfriend, and her true love. But if you're really lucky, there all the same person."
