What one word is the secret to understanding people, to having empathy for our neighbors, relatives, acquaintances, and those all the way on the other side of the world? What word will help us begin to improve our global society? This word is "why." In such a polarized political climate, it is important now than ever to have humility, empathy, and compassion for the people around us despite our differing opinions. If we do not listen to others or question our own beliefs, we contribute to the growing sociopolitical divide instead of attempting to bridge that gap for the benefit of us and future generations. While this sounds more easily said than done, asking "why" may make the journey a bit easier on all of us.
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To coexist with people who have vastly different opinions from our own, we must critically examine our differences. When confronted with someone you do not agree with, ask yourself why they have the opinions and beliefs they do, as well as why yours differ. Compare your contrasting cultures, languages, physiologies, educations, families, and personal experiences as these are the very factors that unite us and make us human, while at the same time, making us each unique. How are your separate cultures similar or different? Why might your physiologies affect your disagreement? How have your respective educations or families influenced your differing beliefs? What can you agree on, and why?
On an introspective level, examining your own opinions can help you develop your ability to empathize with others, as well as better understand and challenge any prejudices you might have. For example, what cultural or personal factors have affected your opinion about a specific group of people, a concept, or a lifestyle? The ultimate goal of questioning your personal beliefs is to be able to put yourself in someone else's shoes and examine a topic (or the world at large) from their perspective.
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But to put yourself in someone else's shoes, you first need to learn to step out of your own shoes. Many people believe that some innate sense of stubbornness prevents them from understanding arguments that contradict their own. But challenging the very concept of stubbornness as we understand it is the first—and most difficult—step in overcoming it. When you ask yourself why you hate being wrong, you may find a single, concrete answer elusive. This is because many different psychological phenomena (e.g. the concept of cognitive dissonance) are relevant to our preferences for being right. This being said, it is still possible to prevail over stubbornness and reach a state of humility.
Few people enjoy being wrong, and admitting to yourself that you have chosen to remain ignorant of the ideas and beliefs of others throughout your life can be embarrassing. But once you understand that it's okay to admit to being wrong, you have the capacity to learn so much more than you once thought possible. By accepting humility, you allow others to teach you things you may have been blind to, and you allow yourself to take a break from your own perspective in order to experience another.
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Asking "why" can help you open new ideological pathways, break away from preconceived prejudices and beliefs you once held, and empathize with those you thought couldn't be more different from yourself. One single word can help transform a hostile or otherwise unproductive disagreement into a conversation where all parties have the opportunity to learn from each other. It's nice to imagine a global society in which we all share humility, empathy, and an openness for new perspectives, but given our current political climate, this fantasy seems many years away. The word, "why" might not have the power to change the world, but it can certainly help us begin to bridge the gap.
