Having a love life can be extremely frustrating, consuming, annoying and upsetting. Don’t get me wrong, so many good, beautiful things can come from having a significant other in your life, but this article is focusing on the bad. This article is focusing on the perpetual doom that can come from placing your heart in another person’s hands.
What’s a solution to all of that craziness?
A solution to all boy troubles ever is eating queso instead.
Yes, queso. The notoriously creamy, soul-soothing, mouth watering, chip-dunking, velvety goodness. And here’s why:
1. Queso will never lie to you.
No matter how many times you devour a bowl of queso, it never holds it against you. Queso will never lie to you about where it has been, what it has been doing and who it has been with. You can expect full honesty when indulging in its tastiness.
2. No matter how many times you take advantage of queso, it will never try to take advantage of you.
Queso would never ever think of taking advantage of you. It’s here for you all of the time without any expectations or requirements. Queso cares for you and not what you give in return to it.
3. Queso is unpredictable.
Boys can often be extremely predictable and routinely do the same old thing. But, queso always keeps you guessing. It’s a wonderful relationship to have. Every time I take a bite of queso, I’m not sure if I’ll get strictly cheese, get meat or get peppers in the bite I’m taking. It’s a mystery every time.
4. Queso will never make you “chill,” and you can just Netflix.
A recent trend is this strange concept of “Netflix and Chill.” Boys invite you over in an ill attempt to trap you into doing a little more than just “chill.” In terms of queso, however, it would never try and trick you like that. You can watch "Grey’s Anatomy" or "Gossip Girl" or "One Tree Hill" without someone trying to interrupt your Netflix and legitimate intentions “chilling” time.
5. Queso will always make you warm.
When you’re cold in the winter and desperately seek warmth, warm queso sliding down your throat always does the trick. Cuddling with a boy simply cannot compare when you could have the warmth in the bottom of your tummy that queso never fails to provide.
6. Queso would never dream of canceling you guys’ intimate plans.
Nothing is worse than being cancelled on. No matter what the reason is, it sucks. But, you can always rely on queso. Queso loves you so much that any time you want to spend time with it, it clears its busy schedule of being awesome and makes time for the two of you to bond.7. You never feel unsure about a relationship with queso.
It’s so easy to second guess relationships in terms of mutual feelings. But queso makes things clear from the start. You know queso loves you, and queso knows you love it.
8. Queso likes your best friends and your best friends like queso.
You never, ever have to worry about that awkward, “will my friends like him?” or “does he like my friends?” because you know the feeling is completely mutual with queso. What’s not to like?
9. Queso will always call you back.
After spending an amazing day with queso, it will always call you back. Next time you want to see queso, it will be there waiting for you in its beautiful bowl of goodness. Queso is incredibly reliable.
10. Queso will always mend your broken heart and will never be the one to break it.
It's so easy to go to a new guy after a breakup or have someone else "pick up the pieces" as the saying goes. But queso is a constant foundation of love and happiness. It will be there for you during the good times and the bad. And, most importantly, it will never cause the bad times.
11. You don't have to shower for queso.
Queso likes you ugly, pretty, clean and dirty. Its love is completely unconditional, and you never have to change who you are for its sweet, smooth cheese. It loves you for you.
If you haven't already come up with this conclusion, I'll tell you right now that queso is always the best choice. Fall in love with it at your local Mexican restaurant today!
