Why now? Why go? These are two of the biggest question I have asked myself this semester. As many of you know, I am a sophomore at Charleston Southern. Before I get questions, I am a sophomore because I changed my major so late and it put me way behind. I am pursuing a degree in Elementary Education, with hopes to get my master's in special education. This was the route that I believed I was going to take. This was the route I believed God wanted me to take. However, this semester has been probably the longest of my college career. I'll spare you the detail and just say my heart is heavy with emotions. This semester has absolutely hurt. I came to the realization that I needed to make a change. I am someone who gets burnt out easily. Taking a break to recharge and taking a break to focus is what I feel God is telling me right now. I need to step out and do something that is going to push me so far out of my comfort zone, it is going to break me. I decided that I needed to make a decision based on what God wants for me, not what I want for me. I made the decision to say goodbye to everything that feels familiar. I decided to say yes, yes to the craziest thing I never thought I would be able to do; The World Race: Semesters.
Let me say that again, The World Race. The motto and theme of the Race is, "to live simply, yet radically for the sake of the Gospel" This decision wasn't easy, it took time and patience. It took me willing to step out in faith for once. I was so sick of waking up to white walls of my bedroom. I decided I wanted something more. I wanted something more than the familiarity of my little room in Charleston, SC. I wanted something more than the four walls of a classroom. I am a kinesthetic learner, meaning that I learn with my hands, not a textbook. (I am an education major, so I am not saying that I don't think written assessments are important. I could probably write an article about how important they are.) I learn through doing, not just saying. I learn by being the one to go into the streets of Ecuador and Peru proclaiming the Gospel. Taking a semester off of school was a decision that I struggled with for a while. My thoughts instantly went to ALL of the negatives. I believed I wasn't ready. I believed I wasn't every going to be ready to go. I thought of how much further I would be from graduation. However, this decision became very clear the moment I heard the words, WHY NOT NOW?! I sat and thought on that for a while. After sitting on that for a while, kept hearing the word no. Yet, I had no idea that it was a different type of no. It was a no directed toward all of my earthly worries and fears.
NO! A word that has ruled this semester for me. A word that literally broke me and built me back up again. I heard God say no, Ben. You are ready. You are going to be fine. You have me and I need you. I want you to step out in faith. I want you to challenge yourself. I want you to leave everything behind. Every person, place, and thing that feels comfortable. Make me your comfort during the season of life. Make me everything that feels familiar and everything that feels normal.
I am not going to lie to you, when I heard this, I was terrified. I was terrified at the reality of leaving the country for THREE MONTHS. Those who know me, know I like routine, I am someone who used to be okay with complacency. I use the word used, because I have become someone who wants to be so different. Different in the ways I talk, act, and approach everyday life. I am a kid and those who know me will agree with this statement. I firmly believe that it is totally okay to look at life like a kid sometimes. I believe it is okay to look at life with the same amount of purity of a child. We can learn so much when we look at life this way.
With the support of family, friends, professors, and of course GOD I am going to take the biggest leap of my life. A leap of faith. (all my Bonclaken people get how terrifying this leap is) However, I must cling to what God has told me. He has told me; I will be fine and I will be in his hands. I am his and he is mine. As I begin this journey, I am excited for the opportunity to serve in both Ecuador and Peru. This is going to be the craziest and most unique journey of my life and I am so pumped to see where it takes me! Thanks for reading this and God Bless.
-Ben
