Why New Isn't Always Better

Why New Isn't Always Better

It seems as if today's society is dominated by the idea of "new." Often, new things and new ideas are given a high priority just because of their newness. This shouldn't always be the case.
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Today’s society seems dominated by the idea of new. New phone. New car. New apps. All of this is great, right? Tired of the old? In with the new. Don’t want to wait and be patient? There’s something new waiting around the corner. Or so it seems.

I think there’s an attitude of impatience held by many in my generation (including me, from time to time) that demands the newest and what we consider to be the best. But is newer really for the best? When we grow tired of the old, many of our impulses long for something new to replace these things that we see as yesterday’s news. Instead, we should work on renewing or reexamining these things that we consider to be the “old.” This goes against the grain, however, and is contrary to the behavior of most of our peers. The millennial generation is used to having the newest, trendiest everything and our attention spans are focused on the next, not the here and now.

But if we’re always spending time pursuing new relationships and new friendships, what about the old ones? If we neglect the ones who have been with us through the good and the bad for a friendship for the sake of its “newness,” what will become of our well-cultivated relationships? If we forget about our past and present, how could we expect to conquer the future successfully? Now this isn’t me saying that anything fresh and new isn’t good by any means; anything that is old now was once new to us. But if we’re so caught up in tomorrow’s plans and expectations, how can we enjoy today?

Remember when you first started high school? The question was rarely, “What are you going to do after your freshman year?,” but it was rather, “Where are you going to college?” Now that I’m about to graduate, the questions rarely focus on the past and present, but rather on my plans following graduation. Once again, this is not saying you should attempt to steer yourself away from tomorrow, but a reminder that today and yesterday are still important too.

Sometimes, we may wish for new things, like a new group of friends, or perhaps just to go visit and explore a new place. But in my experience, I’ve found that wishing away where we are and what we have now rarely does any good. As John Lennon once said, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” For now, it’s important to just enjoy the moment. When all of our new pursuits we’re chasing leave us empty-handed, we still have those things (whether it be a book, song, place, or friend) that we’ve enjoyed and turned to countless times before, things that are inextricable parts of each of our respective lives, so what’s the point in trying to replace them with something or someone new?

We need to stop constantly looking to something or someone new to solve all of our problems. We may find that the solution has been right in front of us the entire time.

Music for the Week:

"Could You Be the One?" – Stereophonics

"Two Step (Live at Red Rocks)" – Dave Matthews Band

"My Way Back Home" – Dawes

"Standing on the Moon" – Grateful Dead

"Gravedigger (Live at The China Club)" – Dave Matthews

"23 Years" – Corey Kilgannon

"Something in Common" – Dawes

"Something More than Free" – Jason Isbell

"Half the City" – St. Paul and the Broken Bones

Cover Image Credit: http://www.holidaymatinee.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/slow-down-540x540.jpg

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

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After 'Extremely Wicked' And 'The Stranger Beside Me,' We Now Understand The Criminal Mind Of Ted Bundy

1 hour and 50 minutes, plus 550 pages later.

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Netflix recently released a movie in May called "Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil, and Vile" (2019), based on the life of Ted Bundy from his girlfriend's viewpoint.

In 1980, an author and former Seattle police officer, Ann Rule, published a book about her experience and personal, close friendship with Ted Bundy, called "The Stranger Beside Me."

These two sources together create an explosion of important information we either skim over or ignore about Ted Bundy. Watching this movie and reading this book can really open your eyes to who Ted Bundy really was. Yeah, there are the confession tapes on Netflix, too, but these other things can really tie it all into one big masterpiece of destruction.

I swear, it will blow your mind in different ways you never thought possible.

In the movie, "Extremely Wicked", Zac Efron stars as the infamous Ted Bundy, America's most notorious serial killer. He portrayed the murderer who kidnapped, killed, and raped 30 women or more. Personally, he made a great Ted Bundy, mannerisms and all. Lily Collins stars as Ted's girlfriend who was easily manipulated by Ted and believed that he was innocent for years.

The movie is told in the order that Liz, Ted's girlfriend, remembers.

In the book, "The Stranger Beside Me", Ann Rule writes about Ted Bundy, who used to be her old friend. They met while working at a crisis center in the state of Washington and were close ever since. Like Liz, Ann believed he was innocent and that he was incapable of these horrific crimes.

Ted Bundy had made both Liz and Ann fools. He easily manipulated and lied to both women about many things for years, his murders being "one" of them.

Okay, so we all know that Ted Bundy was absolutely guilty as hell and totally murdered those women. 30 women or more. He literally confessed to that, but researchers and authorities believe that number to be way higher.

But... you must know that the movie and the book tell two different stories that lead to the same ending. That's why it's so intriguing.

At one point, I couldn't stop watching the movie. Then, I bought Ann Rule's book and was completely attached to it. I couldn't put it down.

For me, Ted Bundy is interesting to me. Unlike most young girls today, I don't have a thing for him nor do I think he's cute or hot. I know that he used his charm and looks to lure women into his murderous trap. That's why it's so hard to understand why this movie and book created a new generation of women "falling in love" with Ted Bundy.

GROSS: He sodomized women with objects. He bludgeoned women with objects or his own hands. He was a necrophile. Look those up if you have not a clue of what they mean. That could change your mind about your own feelings for Ted Bundy.

After "Extremely Wicked" and "The Stranger Beside Me", I now understand the criminal mind of Ted Bundy. He was insane, but he was also smart, put together, educated, charming, and lots more. That's why I'm so interested in why his brain was the way it was.

The criminal mind is an interesting topic for me anyway, but for Ted Bundy, it was amazing to learn about.

I highly recommend both the movie and the book I quickly read in two weeks! If you want answers, they are there.

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