Gay marriage was just made legal in all 50 states. This is good news.

After long appeals in court and years of a few states here and a couple states there making it legal within their federal level of law, the battle is over. Love is love, and love wins. Of course, with a 5-4 judge ruling in court, existing opposition to the dilemma, and those who claim they’re “literally moving to Canada,” not everyone was on board with the June 26 decision. I’ve made it known that I’m in support of the LGBTQ community (just check out my previous articles), but I realize this doesn’t resonate with all who read.

I wanted to address some people’s concerns, because being a 19-year-old amateur writer makes me qualified to do so. Well, with sarcasm aside, there are some popular arguments made in opposition of marriage amendments. The topic is hotly contested and has a compassionate following on both ends of the argument. I’ve written about marriage equality before, and I’m sure after being the number one topic in the news, most of you are sick of hearing about it. That is, if you don’t care. But this is my last piece. I wanted to leave the topic in the hands of society now, where there is legality to the side I have spent so long defending. Let’s discuss, one last time.

Like I said, I’m just a 19-year-old student with a platform. But in some ways, that is a powerful position to be in. I’m a part of the youngest generation that has enough education to speak at least somewhat competently on politics. I’m a part of a generation that has seen social change in waves. I have access to a strong audience with large readership. I’m a part of a community that itself has gone through changes galore in the past decade. My qualifications may actually be greater than the sum of their parts.

I also grew up in a family that preached, since I can remember, that love has always been love. Coming from a family that put religion to the way side, I never saw my gay family members as living a taboo lifestyle. I never saw any of my gay relatives as different or inferior. I didn’t see them as marriage laws saw them. I grew up in a family where I have a lesbian aunt, who is actually my godmother. I always just assumed she was married to her wife. These things were always so natural in my life. And of course, as a young child, I assumed this was how it was for everyone. As children, we believe that our lives are central, and that beliefs amongst people are more or less unified. Discriminatory action wasn’t a part of my childhood like my gay and lesbian relatives were.

It wasn’t until my years in high school that I truly realized the problem in our country and in the fabric of our very society that we had deep-seeded problems relating to acceptance and equality. My sister came out the summer before my sophomore year, in a conversation that I remember humorously to this day. My mom called for me, and she told me, “You know how we have a lot of gay family members? Well, your generation has one, too.” I didn’t know what to think about this. I just said, “Mom, do you think I’m gay?” She responded, “No, but your sister is!” And from there we went.

From then on, I can remember several instances of schoolmates from my Apple Valley High School making fun, being insensitive and name-calling just because of someone’s sexual identity. It was disgusting to listen to, but I knew they didn’t grow up in the same environment I did. As a 16 year old who could barely drive, what was I supposed to do about it? I usually let go of the words they would say about my family. Some days that was easier said than done.

It wasn’t, however, schoolmates that made the biggest discriminatory impact on my life, but the adult members of my community. I heard several comments by parents, and read several emails my own parents received that were less than accepting, and at times, down right hateful. I remember actions taken by parents to prevent some of my schoolmates from being around my family, just because of sexual orientation differences. At times, people still couldn’t see the discriminatory problems with this. The ignorant lack of acceptance was so commonplace, so engraved into the minds of my community that they couldn’t see it when it was right in front of them. And bringing it to the forefront only brought about opposition by so many.

I learned through my last few years in grade school that acceptance wasn’t instilled equally in the minds of everyone. This made the ruling of last week all the sweeter. It seems like change built a stronger argument than the ignorance that exists. Many of them can be addressed by simple answers.

As noted, I wanted to discuss several arguments that are frequently made. The first being by parents, who ask how they’re supposed to explain the marriage between two men or two women to their kids. To me, this answer is simple. Where is the logic in this argument? To the opposition, you can’t stand on the grounds of “gay marriage is bad for kids, because gay marriage is bad for kids.” There is a blatant lack of logic behind this. It’s also a reminder to not let personal belief cloud your judgment when deciding upon issues for the greater good.

The argument of children being raised in gay households having negative developmental effects has arisen in recent years as well. However, I don’t see how this can be. In many ways it argues on the side of legality of gay marriage. If the opposite is concerned with the children that gay and lesbian couples raise, then wouldn’t they want these families to receive the same sort of governmental benefits that married couples obtain? Wouldn’t they want the hundreds of thousands of gay families with children to receive the same treatment that heterosexual families receive in the raising of their own children? Do we want a level playing field or not?

The next real argument arises from the general opposition to gay marriage’s fear of redefining the word “marriage.” I would implore these same people to take a historical look at this issue. When our country was founded, marriage meant between one white man, and one white woman. And before that? Marriage was a means of exchanging and combining resources in a more or less forced union for the greater good between two families. So if we are really caught up on the word, let’s just go back to making marriage a way for your family to receive an extra goat from your husband or wife’s family for the winter. Or you could just hitch a ride on a stagecoach out to the warmer west. I hear California has gold.

Bottom line, marriage was once oppressive toward women as well. Beyond that, minorities, the mixing of races, all of them had their disputes with the word “marriage” at one point in history. Why only now are we afraid to broaden the meaning?

Finally, what effect will gay marriage have on you? I doubt your marriage will suddenly catch ablaze in the fires of damnation once the lesbian couple down the street marries. I doubt you will find any changes in your own heterosexual lives for that matter. And if you oppose now, what would you possibly say to your own children if they ever come out to you? I think it would be a lot harder for a parent to explain to their children why they themselves believe their children can’t enjoy the same benefits of marriage and the joy that comes with it, than it would for a parent to explain why two men and two women receive equal treatment.

All in all, these are just my own musings, a talk between myself and whoever wants to listen. Agree, disagree, if you’re willing to sit down and read what I think, I’m always willing to do the same in return. I believe the marriage equality debate will continue for some time. I think we made huge strides as an entire nation. However, I do believe this is only the beginning. We still have problems of trans rights. We still have 29 states who find it lawful to eliminate employment from people based on sexual orientation, and we still have discrimination toward the LGBTQ community from all corners of the nation. We have made a large first step, and though the ruling was a milestone, we must use its momentum to continue and seek change.