Slut. Whore. Skank. The many terms we use to label, define, and explain women and young girls today. We all know these are derogatory, we all know they’re offensive, but we don’t understand the true potential damage behind these words men and women so often throw around. In my eyes, the platform of feminism has expanded and grown right before me. In my first year of college, I took a few women studies classes—and immediately felt the feeling. The feeling you have when you hit the nail on the head, when you feel like you’ve found a place your thoughts and emotions can contribute to and make worthy. My entire life, I had been wronged by society. By my sixth grade teacher, who told me I couldn’t wear leggings to school. By the boy who wouldn’t take interest in me because I was “tainted” by one of his friends. The boy who did take interest in me but never failed to remind me about my “taintedness.” By my mom, when she found out I was no longer the purest form of myself, making me feel internally shameful and overall just plain sad. By the boy who I wouldn’t let have me—so he resorted to calling me a slut.
If you’ve never been rewarded this perspective, or been given this speech before, I am happy I am the one able to deliver for you. People label feminists as men-haters, as crazy, over-powered women. In my women studies class, I labeled myself as not a feminist as many of my classmates and teachers described; but a “humanist.” It only took me a few classes to realize that a humanist was a feminist. A feminist just wants equal treatment, rights, and opportunities. Why aren’t there “meninists”? Because there isn’t a need for one.
Which brings me to my point. Our entire lives, we are shamed for our sexuality. We restrict our expression and bodies to school dress codes, we are labeled “slutty” or “prude.” We lose our innocence in sex (which I personally don’t understand, I’ve been curious about this whole sex thing since like the second grade). In sixth grade, I remember telling my mom about my new friend, who I had met and immediately became intertwined with. “Isn’t she a little…fast?” Fast. The word my mom had always used to describe girls who were curious. I know now that “fast” is a myth, because sex is natural. Sex is the most natural and one of the most powerful activities we as humans innately desire. We are born through sex. The world would be a desolate and empty space without sex—because sex creates us. Sex creates new people, who create new ways of thinking, who create new ways of the world. My virginity and sexuality is supposed to be some gift I have to protect until some Godly figure comes along who deserves it? Nah. My sexuality is whatever the f**k I want it to be, because it’s mine, and I own it.
It’s not okay to call a girl a slut. It’s not okay to call a girl a slut because these days, a slut is a girl who has sex. A slut is a girl who has sex with one guy, two guys, 10 guys. Nowadays, you could literally have sex with one person and still not be able to escape the detriment of being a “slut.” But a slut is merely a girl who enjoys having sex. A natural process that we were created and born through. When a guy has sex with a lot of girls, he’s known as “The Man.” When a girl has a lot of sex, she’s automatically a lower quality girl. It means she has no “self respect” (my favorite line), no will power, no guidance. I think the girl that has a lot of sex has more respect for herself than anyone else. Because your sexuality is not a reward to someone—it’s a reward to yourself. Girls who have a lot of sex—simply because they want to—those are the girls we should be thanking and learning from. The girl who lives with intent, who lives to only rules made by herself. To all the sluts out there: I hear you. Take pride in everything you do. Embrace the names and labels thrown onto you. Wear them like diamonds around your neck. Because these titles are only little pests in your garden of beauty—the garden of the freedom you have as a person, as a girl, and as a woman. And nobody can dishonor this garden without your consent to do so.
