As the end of my Sophomore year comes to a close, I have officially had two years of my undergraduate degree completed in Walla Walla, WA. I moved from Houston to Washington to attend a small, private liberal arts college. Part of my reason for choosing, though not the whole reason, was that my mom was moving as well.

My mom is my best friend, we are true Gilmore Girls cliches who have survived my parents divorce, her parents' estrangement, etc. So, to think of her moving back to her home town of Seattle, and me falling in love with Whitman, it was a dream come true. I would finally be able to attend the west coast college of my dreams, still be a few hours away from my mother, but still have her close.

However, by October of my freshman year, my mom had realized that Seattle was not the place for her anymore. She had lived in Houston for over twenty years, longer than she had lived in Seattle. So, she moved back.

So there I was, in a small town in Eastern Washington without my safety net. While I tried to pretend like I HADN’T AT ALL picked Whitman because of my mom’s proximity, I was lying to myself. While it hadn’t been the only reason that I had attended, it definitely made the decision easier knowing she would be close.

But, I continued on, not wanting to admit that I was re-thinking my choice of school. I knew I would never actually transfer, it was too much hassle, and I was enjoying myself to an extent. This extent stopped at the point when I started to realize what the exact problem was:

I wasn’t unhappy here necessarily, but I definitely did NOT want to stay here. Or in Seattle. Or Portland. Or really anywhere in the PNW.

This completely went against what my original plans were in high school. I loved the northwest, wanted to live here after college, etc. I had hated Texas in high school, or at least liked to play up the fact that I didn’t like it as much as other people. I wanted a change!

That opinion completely shifted once I moved. I had to move away from my home, take a chance on something that I thought I wanted, to realize that I loved what I originally had in Texas.

I know, it's totally stereotypical and stupid to say I ~found myself~. But, I’m not writing this to be deep or meaningful. I’m writing this to show that sometimes, what we think we want, isn’t what we want at all. Especially during college. Everyone makes a HUGE deal out of deciding on where you want attend college or university, which is fair because it is a big decision. But this psyches us all up to think that those thoughts of “I just felt comfortable on campus” or “I had a really good feeling about it” won’t change. College is the best years of our life. We will make the right decision, attend, and love every single minute of it.

But it doesn’t always work out that way.

You can go somewhere, hate it, transfer. You can go somewhere, like it okay, not transfer. You are allowed to change your mind about how you feel about your school.

And it’s not always the schools. It’s because YOU have changed as a person, which is 100% okay. I have realized what is important to me in the long run of my life, and the Pacific Northwest might not be the place for me. But, maybe my opinion will change again.

For incoming freshmen, anyone who has just finished their freshman year, or is in a slump like I am- it is normal to realize what you thought you wanted, isn’t what you want at all. Even if that decision is your college experience. You’ll still learn from it, do all the normal college things: make best friends, fall in love, receive a degree, etc. it just might not look like what you ever thought it would. And that’s okay.

To sum it all up- this is not a post saying why I hate my college, or telling people to seriously reconsider applying, it is me saying that Whitman helped me realize what I want and where I want to be after graduation. Not everything goes according to plan, and college is an amazing learning experience that helps you learn the most about yourself. Even in the most unexpected ways.