Do you hate being the single friend at holiday parties? Are you in a relationship, and just don't understand why your best friends get bitter over your Christmas couple selfies? Well, here are a few reasons why it sucks to be single during the holidays...
1. Family members asking the dreaded question, "Sooo...do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other/any social life at all other than being on that doggone computer?"
No, Aunt Barb...I thought you would have picked that up on that by now. I mean, what's the point of you commenting on my ~single and ready to mingle~ status update (IN ALL CAPITAL LETTER BECAUSE OLD PEOPLE ON SOCIAL MEDIA LOVE TO YELL) if you thought I had a secret lover? This leads me to my next problem...
2. You can't use the excuse "I have to spend Christmas/Hanukah/Kwanza/the whole month of December with *his* family."
Awesome...time to watch cousin Joey attempt to fit 50 candy canes in his mouth after drinking a little too much eggnog...AGAIN.
3. You have to go to awkward holiday parties alone
You have a work party coming up? Grrrrreat. As if you don't spend enough time with your boss and co-workers alone. Now you get to spend an evening feeling bitter with your boss, co-workers, AND all of their significant others!
4. Going ice-skating is not an option.
Because let's be honest: unless you are a low key professional figure skater, are any of us skilled at ice-skating. The one time I went I ended up doing more scooting than skating. At least if you have someone there to hold your hand, you can drag them down with you.
5. All of the cute Christmas pictures on social media.
Sure, you "like" them, but you don't like them. It should be yousitting by the Christmas tree with your hottie in matching footie pajamas holding hot chocolate!
6. Romantic holiday movies
ENOUGH SAID.
7. Baking alone.
Seriously, who's going to help you lick the bowl? Oh wait...no one. Remind me again why this is such a bad thing?
8. No one will be there to help your family ridicule you.
"Remember that time when Molly put her face in the cake at her 8th-grade graduation? HAHAHAHAHAHA." Unfortunately, no one will be privy to hearing your most embarrassing moments other than the people who have already heard them a million times. What's the fun in that? Oh, that's right: absolutely everything! Who needs to know about the time you fainted in Subway?
9. Not having a reason to relate to the song, "Baby, It's Cold Outside"
Darn...everyone's favorite Christmas song! Sure, it may be a little creepy and play every grocery store on repeat, but...
But nothing. It's just really really annoying. Be jealous that you cannot relate to one of the most obnoxious Christmas jams of all time!