If you’re from a Portuguese family, you know how hard it is to introduce a boyfriend, or even a friend, to the psychopaths you call family. Not because you’re worried that your friend won’t like your family, but rather they’ll get interrogated or judged. No one wants to submit someone they care about to that kind of torture, no matter how much you love your crazy family.

I lucked out, being able to introduce my Portuguese boyfriend to my family without worrying about him being freaked out, because frankly his family is the same as mine. Once the cat was out of the bag and someone asked him if he was Portuguese, the following words out of my grandfather’s mouth were, “Well why didn’t you tell us that before? Now we really like him.” It is as though no one other than a fellow Portagee is welcomed. However, others are not so lucky, having to introduce their muggle friend or boyfriend as not Portuguese and not familiar with the culture. It is as though we are racist, only wanting to have people marry into the family of the same background.

Of course I love my family, and am thankful that I have them in my life, but it would be nice to not have to worry about introducing others to them. I often times find myself warning them in hopes they will be ready to take on the family, as do many others in my family. “My grandmother will ask if you’re hungry, just say yes.” “The weird smell is just food, I promise.” “My uncle is just kidding and not actually trying to insult you.” “MY grandmother WILL force feed you if you refuse.” “They tend to get louder as they drink.” “They will drink too much and offer you a drink.” Frantically, I hurry to push all of these ideas through before they walk through the front door. And I know I am not the only one. I can not say I blame my family for keeping their significant other’s away in fear they may be driven off.

I love my family no matter what and I am proud to say I am Portuguese, but I think we can all agree on a less judgmental and close minded family.