Why Is Technology Not Doing Us Any Favors In Our Dating Lives?

Why Is Technology Not Doing Us Any Favors In Our Dating Lives?

Learn to date more naturally.
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Growing up in the age of internet and cell phones, we have come across many ways to interact with people. Yet, interacting with people alone has actually become a lot harder. Take dating, for instance, people sign up for different applications and expect to find their "soulmate." Don't get me wrong, sometimes it works out, out of pure destiny I suppose.

In general, though, the actual system of online dating is flawed. You are told to "swipe left" or "swipe right" based on people's looks MOSTLY. Yes, some people read the bio and see if it matches up to what they are interested in, but even with that, it is very superficial. On paper, someone might "sound" like a good match, when in reality they could be just some creep on the other side of the screen.

There have been ways to "find your soulmate" through online dating but if I had to choose, I would rather go to set-up dates, like they did in the old days. Someone knew someone was single and looking to date so through friends or relatives they get set up. At least one person could vouch for them that they are a great person, which at the very least means meeting up with this person is safe. AT THE VERY LEAST.

Nowadays not only is it scary to meet up with someone you don't know from online applications and websites, it is also less natural. The fact that you can say the "right thing" by text does not mean you even know how to conversate. We actually have regressed in communication skills. Now, you'd be lucky if you use the right emoji to express your emotions which you can't do so well with words. Although it seems easier because it is quicker to meet people online, I'd stick to the old-fashioned way.

It is possible to find your "soulmate" in many ways, and sometimes you are bound to get someone after trying so hard, but the real problem isn't the searching, it's the lack of knowing how to properly act around someone new. Our experience communicating online has made us more awkward somewhat to act "normal" in person.

The reason is we are always used to having the screen in front of us and having time to come up with the wittiest or coolest thing to say. Instead of using the technology to our advantage, we are regressing. "Soon we'll forget how to talk" is what I hear from older members of my family, and I think they are right. We should go back to how it was before and learn how to use this newfound way to communicate in a less addictive manner.

Once the addiction to the internet and texting passes, I think people will eventually realize the kind of life they want to lead and that will also make it easier to find a partner.

Cover Image Credit: Peckdolphin / Pixabay

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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15 Ways To Support Your Military Significant Other

The military is not like any other job.

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15 ways to support your significant other in the military. Being a MILSO is terrifying, lonely, and frustrating. Here are some tips to get by. YOU GOT THIS!

1. Understand that they will be busy

The military is not a 9-5 job with a lunch break. It could be drill or deployment, remember that they are going to be busy. He/she might not be able to call every night, text you, or answer your texts in a timely manner. They are busy, you should stay busy too.

2. The military is not a job, it is a lifestyle 

Unfortunately, you cannot pick and chose when you are a military spouse, girlfriend, or boyfriend. You are expected to act like a MILSO 24/7. You should support them 24/7 and be a listening ear when needed. Your SO does not have a normal job.

3. Become independent

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You will be away from your military significant other for days, weeks, months, or even a year+. This is overwhelming and exhausting. But think of it as an opportunity for you to gain independence, work on your own dreams, and become the person you want to be!

4. Trust, trust, and more trust

Do not take this one lightly. Being a significant other, in any relationship, means trust. You have to believe that they mean what they say. You have to trust them when they cannot answer your texts or calls. Believe that they are doing is important and you can wait.

5. Prepare for deployment

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Unfortunately, this is a very real side of being a MILSO. You never know where and when they are going to leave or for how long. Welcome to the roller coaster (;

6. Do not date them for the benefits 

The job is done because they love their country and want you to be safe, not for the military pay or benefits. It is not glamorous, or worth it just for the health insurance! Do it because you love them.

7. Become a support system

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Support them every day, through words, actions, and reassurance. This job is not easy. Do not be pushy with details. Let your significant other come to you when they are ready.

8. Lean on other MILSOs

Because nobody says you have to do it alone.

9. They are missing you too

Just because they are busy does not mean they are not missing you. Not only do they not have you, but they also do not have their house, bed, family, or even their own country at times!

10. If you have children, be prepared to become both parents 

I, personally, do not have children. However, growing up in a military family, I had my mother play my father role. It is scary but it is possible. Do not expect to be perfect.

11. Be flexible 

When I first started this journey, I thought, "It is the military, when they said he will be home at 6:00 pm, he will be home EXACTLY 6:00 pm!" I could not have been more wrong. FLEXIBILITY IS KEY!

12. The military isn't closed for the holidays

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They will not be home for every holiday, every birthday, or every plan. Plans are made to be changed. Nobody can control the military or its timing. Be prepared to have Christmas in January.

13. Be proud of them 

What they are doing is not easy. It is scary, stressful, exhausting, and time-consuming. They are doing it because they care. Show how proud you are of them.

14. Hug them...all the time

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Appreciate the time you have together. It means the world to both of you.

15. Send packages, letters, texts, ANYTHING

They are looking forward to what you have to say. After their long day, they want to see your texts and packages. Make their job a little more tolerable.

Good Luck, fellow MILSOs! YOU GOT THIS

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