I Dropped My Sorority And I Don’t Regret It At All

I Dropped My Sorority And I Don’t Regret It At All

Greek life isn't for everyone.

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Growing up, I always pictured Greek life as an integral part of my college experience. I had always heard my mom talk about her sorority. I had all their songs memorized before I even set foot on campus. When I made the decision to participate in recruitment my freshman year, the weeks leading up to it were a whirlwind of nerves and anticipation. Despite the Southern heat and rain, I looked forward to the six days of walking from house to house in high heels. I was excited to find the new home and the sisters that I had always believed to be a defining aspect of my college years.

Looking back, it's possible that the first sign that Greek life wasn't for me came when my mom received a message from her sister. "You should tell your daughter to take down some of her Facebook posts," she wrote, "some sororities might not like her political views." When my mom relayed this to me, I declined the suggestion — not only because I found the notion that sororities would monitor the social media of thousands of potential members absurd, but also because I was not about to censor myself just to be accepted. Much to my relief, my refusal to edit my public persona did not affect my ability to join a sorority. I ended up with a bid from a house at which I had felt comfortable since the beginning of recruitment. Throughout the orientation period leading up to initiation, I felt more and more confident in my decision, and I knew I would be at home there.

And I was, for a while.

At first, sorority life was exactly what the recruitment videos made it out to be: endless love and sisterhood. I had girlfriends with whom I'd go out on weekends, I had a Big I adored, and I had letters I was proud to wear. But the novelty of the experience eventually faded into the rules and expectations. I was glad that I didn't have to lose my sense of self in order to get into a sorority, but I quickly found that staying in one demanded a degree of conformity. As I learned the ropes of the organization, I was coached on what I was allowed to say and do in certain circumstances; what I should and should not wear; and what I could and could not post online or write in a message.

I understood that they didn't want my singular opinion reflecting poorly upon the organization, but at the same time, I hated feeling the need to water myself down. Meanwhile, as I did my best to avoid affecting how people viewed my sorority, my sorority continued to affect how I was seen. I found it bothersome that the stereotypes associated with Greek life and my house now applied to me, and even went as far as to alter my interactions with others on campus. I was automatically associated with some girls I wasn't even friends with. I didn't want people to see my letters before they saw me.

The next indication that I didn't belong in a sorority came when I found out that there were only 4 other girls in my major who were involved in Greek life. Studying music and joining a sorority were, it seemed, mutually exclusive. My chapter offered plenty of academic help in a variety of disciplines... but not mine. It wasn't a purposeful decision; they simply didn't have members that could provide resources for my field of study, and after several years in college, I understand why. As time went on, my class workload increased, along with opportunities for further involvement in my field.

On many occasions, this meant choosing between my sorority and my major. I'd have to skip social events to practice music and attend rehearsals. I'd miss opportunities to build my resume in favor of chapter meetings and workshops. Any focus on my future career necessitated absence from sorority activities, and I resented the fact that I was hardly participating in an organization to which I was paying substantial amounts of money for membership.

The decision to drop out of my sorority wasn't an easy one to make, but I don't regret it for a minute. I was initially worried about losing the friends I have made, but I knew that if my former sisters cut me off once I stopped wearing the letters, they were never really my friends in the first place. When I consider the work I need to put in in order to succeed in my career, I realize that there's no way I could have kept Greek life in the mix without making a much more substantial sacrifice. It wasn't fair to myself or to my sisters to try to participate in both my major and the sorority and end up doing both halfway.

While Greek life can offer the opportunity for a lifelong sisterhood, promote academic success, and provide some individuals with various connections for later in life; however, at the end of the day, sorority life just wasn't right for me.

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10 Things Someone Who Grew Up In A Private School Knows

The 10 things that every private school-goer knows all too well.

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1. Uniforms

Plaid. The one thing that every private school-goer knows all too well. It was made into jumpers, skirts, shorts, scouts, hair ties, basically anything you could imagine, the school plaid was made into. You had many different options on what to wear on a normal day, but you always dreaded dress uniform day because of skirts and ballet flats. But it made waking up late for school a whole lot easier.

2. New people were a big deal

New people weren't a big thing. Maybe one or two a year to a grade, but after freshman year no one new really showed up, making the new kid a big deal.

3. You've been to school with most of your class since Kindergarten


Most of your graduating class has been together since Kindergarten, maybe even preschool, if your school has it. They've become part of your family, and you can honestly say you've grown up with your best friends.

4. You've had the same teachers over and over

Having the same teacher two or three years in a row isn't a real surprise. They know what you are capable of and push you to do your best.

5. Everyone knows everybody. Especially everyone's business.

Your graduating class doesn't exceed 150. You know everyone in your grade and most likely everyone in the high school. Because of this, gossip spreads like wildfire. So everyone knows what's going on 10 minutes after it happens.

6. Your hair color was a big deal

If it's not a natural hair color, then forget about it. No dyeing your hair hot pink or blue or you could expect a phone call to your parents saying you have to get rid of it ASAP.

7. Your school isn't like "Gossip Girl"

There is no eating off campus for lunch or casually using your cell phone in class. Teachers are more strict and you can't skip class or just walk right off of campus.

8. Sports are a big deal

Your school is the best of the best at most sports. The teams normally go to the state championships. The rest of the school that doesn't play sports attends the games to cheer on the teams.

9. Boys had to be clean-shaven, and hair had to be cut

If you came to school and your hair was not cut or your beard was not shaved, you were written up and made to go in the bathroom and shave or have the head of discipline cut your hair. Basically, if you know you're getting written up for hair, it's best just to check out and go get a hair cut.

10. Free dress days were like a fashion show

Wearing a school uniform every day can really drive you mad. That free dress day once a month is what you lived for. It was basically a fashion show for everyone, except for those upperclassmen who were over everything and just wore sweat pants.

Cover Image Credit: Authors Photos

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To The College Student That Feels All Alone At Her Big University

Going to college and being away from home can be difficult especially when you go to a big university and feel all alone!

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Leaving high school behind also means leaving prior friendships behind as well for most students heading out to pursue college, especially if that college is out of state!

Going to college out of state means that you most likely go in not knowing a single person. That can be extremely intimidating and scary. When you go to a school where the campus is gigantic and the student body is around 35,000 individuals, it can be difficult to find your own place within that college and stand out amongst the rest of the crowd.

Sororities and fraternities are a wonderful way to get involved on campus, meet new people and make new friends. However, if you are like me and that is not your cup of tea, then finding your own place at college and meeting new people can be intimidating and difficult. I am one who hates to go to events alone and I tend to stay to myself due to that and it becomes very lonely here at college.

Going from an enormous amount of friends with in high school to feeling all alone and as if you have no one at college definitely can make your college experience go south.

I want you to know that you are not the only one who feels alone in a college campus where everywhere you turn are new faces and possible future friends. Not being a part of an organization, sports team, sorority or fraternity can make meeting people seem hard and intimidating. Not going to parties or out on the town might not be your scene and can make it seem like you are missing out on a lot of the college experience. But, we as individuals need to figure out our own place within our college and find our own ways to get involved and meet others. There are so many clubs and programs to join when you go to college, especially when you go to a huge university.

Coming from the girl who spends her days in her apartment never leaving unless it is for class, being cooped up inside all the time can actually make you feel worse and more lonely. Thankfully, I was able to bring my wonderful dog with me to my second year of college and spending time with him makes me feel so much better!

Whether it is getting a pet or joining a club or other program at college, we as students need to get involved and stay active to keep from withering our college experiences away by being inside all alone every single day. Trust me, I know it can be scary and seem like a lot of work to try and find your place within your own college amongst so many other people, but once you do you will open up the door to so many more new possibilities.

Putting yourself out there will bring you friends, activities to do and more that, will keep you from feeling all alone when you have no one from 'home' around you!

Thankfully, I have a few individuals who I am blessed to call my friends and make my college experience a lot better when we get the chance to do things together!

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