Horror movies: one of those things people crave but hate at the same time. Okay, so that may not be the actual definition but it couldn’t get more accurate. Here are thirteen reasons why scary movies are more in the irksome category.
1. The Girl Who Always Looks Back
Looking over your shoulder every two seconds gets you nowhere. In horror movies, it just causes you to trip over nothing and hit the ground. When the character just lies there screaming? Now you're screaming too. At them.
2. The One That Asks "Who's there?"
So you’re in a house alone, watching movies and eating popcorn, when something in the dark goes Bump! You know you’re in the house alone and we know what's going on. Please clue the both of us in on why you think it’s perfectly normal to just scream out, “Who’s there?” Face palm!
3. The Background Music
There is no surprise if you’re the type of person who pays attention to the music. The music gives it all away. The music slowly rises until... Boom! Something jumps out, maybe it even grabs a character to snatch into the darkness, and you jump about ten feet in the air. If you were paying attention to the music, there was no surprise.
4. The One With Two Left Feet
There’s clumsy and then there’s ridiculous. Tripping over nothing once or twice? Sure. Believable. Some people are just born with two left feet. Tripping over nothing in almost every scene? Then we have a problem.
5. The One That Answers The Door
The character is home, alone in the middle of nowhere when there's a knocking sound. Something eerily scrapes against the side of the house, but there are no trees near the house and the wind isn’t even blowing. You want to check it out. Okay, I get that. But when you completely overlook the window you can easily peep out of or the peephole on the door to be safe, instead and opening the door and walking out of it? *huge sigh*
6. It's Not Immortal
Not all of the “monsters” are invincible. Sometimes, a knife or gun could easily do the trick. If you want to run instead, then by all means run…. Just not further into the house.
7. Use The Light
Pssstt! *whispers*: “If you cut on the light, you could see better.” Common sense. Of course, horror movies lack things like this. Walking into a dark place is an invitation to be taken.
8. Letting Them Know You're Alone
Ring! Ring! Ring!..... Ring! Ri- Click.
Character: “Hello?”
Line 1: *chuckles evilly* “I’ve been waiting for you.”
Character: “Who is this?”
Line 1: “All alone, are you, Sydney?”
Character: *glances around* “Yes. Who is this?”
Line 1: “The visitor you’ve been waiting for…”
Line goes dead.
CONGRATS!! You've basically invited him over.
9. The Girl That Screams But Doesn't Run
Fight or flight is usually the reaction everyone has when they’re in danger. Standing there and screaming as the danger slowly walks towards you just brings on a whole other level of stupidity.
10. Completely Ignoring The Obvious Ways To Get Away
A character that actually runs? Finally! What you may not have noticed is that they have a perfectly working car they just drove home in, and they’re running straight past it. Into the woods. The dark woods. Where they will trip on everything in sight and eventually get caught. Such a smart idea...
11. What Neighbor?
A scary movie where the main character has neighbors? Maybe this will be different. Nope. Not at all. People, please sit back and watch as she runs out the house, past the car, and down the street full of neighbors and into the nearest woods where there is virtually no help.
12. The One That Walks Towards The Danger
Please refrain from denying the frustration caused by the main character walking straight towards the danger instead of away from it. Because walking even deeper into the house making scary noises is completely sane...
13. Hiding In The Most Obvious Places
Under the bed, in the closet, behind the curtains, behind the couch, in the backseat of the car, in the attic, in the air vents, et cetera. Behold, the places the killer knows you will be hiding in yet you go there anyways.
