I know this may not be the most popular opinion, but let's break this down book by book, shall we? I couldn’t have been the only one who was constantly rolling my eyes during the books and movies whenever Harry did something just completely unhelpful or dumb. I’ll admit, he got smarter and a little more self-sufficient as he got older, but there are definitely some eye-roll worthy moments in every book. Also, I would say spoiler alert, but this is 2017 and if you don’t already know what happens I’m sorry but you’ve had time to catch up.
Book One
Actual Title: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
Accurate Title: Harry Potter and That Time He Let His Friends Do All the Hard Work
Yep, I said it. In the book, after Hermione does all her research, they finally plan to see what is under the trap door guarded by Fluffy. But wait, who is that stopping them at the door of the Common Room? Ugh, Neville. Go away, you’re not going to be relevant for like five more books, ok? So, of course, Hermione steps in again and PETRIFIES the kid. Seems a bit extreme, don’t you think? Ron and Harry, what’s up? You’re all in the same classes, how does she know how to do this but you two just sit there?? Moving on…they finally get below the trap door and fall into the Devil’s Snare. And Hermione is just cool calm and collected in the face of death and just says "stay still,” and saves herself and Harry. Wow, what a good friend. Then, of course, Ron is having a full blown meltdown and can’t sit still for two seconds. But once again, Hermione pulls the spell out of her giant brain and saves Ron. What would have happened if Hermione wasn’t there? Ron would be dead in the first book. That would put a damper on the rest of the series, don’t you think? Then they get to the part where someone has to fly on a broom. They do this for leisure and sport, so Harry jumps right on and is all, “Don’t worry guys, I’ve got this one." Woah, thanks a lot Harry. Really saved us there. Don’t even get me started about the Wizard’s Chess fiasco. To make a long story short, Ron literally played homicidal chess to make sure Harry got out unscathed. Harry flew on a broom. Doesn’t really seem to be an even trade, does it?
Book Two
Actual Title: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Accurate Title: Harry Potter and the Last Three Chapters with the Basilisk
So, let’s be real again. Hermione did all the research. However, this book is probably the least infuriating because he does acknowledge Hermione’s brilliance multiple times, so at least he’s aware. The worst part is how this kid is ALWAYS in the wrong place at the wrong time. Here’s a tip: If you see someone that’s been petrified and you’re the main suspect of the previous incidents, RUN AWAY. Go tell the teacher instead of just standing there and being like “Oh no what happened?" It’s clear, they saw the basilisk. It’s been the theme of the entire year, Harry. Go get help! I will say, Harry did a good job stabbing the basilisk. But of course, he went and got himself bitten. Total HP move.
Book Three
Actual Title: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Accurate Title: Hermione Granger and the Time She Stopped Multiple Murders
Ok. So now that I’m thinking about it, maybe I should change the title of this article “Why Hermione is the Hero of the Entire Harry Potter Series”. Without the Time Turner, Sirius Black AND Buckbeak would have been murdered. Who had the Time Turner, you ask? HERMIONE. Why did she have it? Because she was so smart that even her professors were like “Ok yeah your giant brain is at a disadvantage with this whole 24 hours in a day scheme. Let’s cheat time so you can have a 5.0 GPA." It’s more obvious when you watch the movies, but Harry is literally just strung along on Hermione’s Time Turner journey and he watches in awe when she is able to figure out the constraints of time as if she’s some kind of Time Lord. Sirius had it right; she is the brightest witch of her age, and probably of all time. Honestly, why isn’t this series about her?? ALSO, side note, this is the part of the series where Harry starts to complain about his schoolwork. I’m sorry, but two years ago you were an orphan living in a cabinet and you’re complaining about doing magical homework with your magical friends in your magical castle school? Please stop talking immediately.
Book Four
Actual Title: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Accurate Title: Harry Potter and Ugh You Guys I Need Help with This Tournament Thingy
Before I go into this one, I will say that I give Harry props for not dying in this book. It was a bit touch and go there for a while, but once again with the help of everyone else and none of his own intellect, he was able to pull it off. Yay Harry! So…the Tri-Wizard Tournament tasks. Name one that Harry was able to accomplish with his own intellect? The Dragon one? Well, Ron was the one who told him about it before everyone else and Moody was the one who let him know about the wand so he could use his broom. Honestly, Harry, if multiple wizards were against you participating in this because there was a legitimate chance you would die, don’t you think you’d want to put in just a bit of research? God, it’s like he has a death wish. The second task he wouldn’t have figured out if Cedric (RIP) didn’t tell him about putting that weird egg underwater and he wouldn’t have been able to figure out how to BREATHE without Neville helping him out. YES, that information may have been given to Neville by Barty Crouch Jr. to ensure he won, but it doesn’t matter. Either way, Harry didn’t try to figure it out himself and was just like “Oh, thanks for the gills, Neville." And in the third task nothing really bad happened that was his fault. Again, RIP Cedric. That part sucked.
Book Five
Actual Title: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Accurate Title: Harry Potter and the One Where He Kinda Gets Everyone in Trouble
I won’t have much to say about this one, because at least Harry finally has a good idea of his own. Dumbledore’s Army was a great concept, but I don’t think he really estimated how much Dolores Umbridge sucked and would definitely figure out what was going on. Maybe don’t have 50+ students randomly missing at one time congregated in the same place. But again, he’s a teenager and doesn’t think about logistical stuff like that. So good job Harry, you didn’t totally mess it up this time. However, he does kinda get all arrogant about being the chosen one as if it’s some kind of award. Congrats, Voldemort wants to kill you in cold blood. Not something you should really brag about, kiddo.
Book Six
Actual Title: Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
Accurate Title: Harry Potter and the One Where He’s Obsessed with Draco Malfoy
This isn’t so much of Harry being an idiot, but more like he uses some of the intellect that we all know he has, but for the totally wrong reasons. Maybe if he put a little more time and effort into researching Horcruxes and all that fun new stuff he learned instead of trying to kill Draco Malfoy and not trusting Snape, he would have figured everything out a whole lot quicker. Dumbledore tries to push him in the right direction, but it’s useless. Jumping a bit forward, it’s implied and (I think at one point) explicitly stated that Hermione had a very strong theory that Harry himself was a Horcrux. I wonder why she figured that out first? It’s simple, because she’s the only one that has her head screwed on straight here. It’s very frustrating to know that other characters figured out his own demise before he did.
Book Seven
Actual Title: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Accurate Title: Harry Potter and that Time Hermione Led Him Through the Woods
For most of this novel, it’s almost like Lord of the Rings where they’re just WALKING. Except, there’s no real end goal in sight. They have no idea where they’re going, what they’re looking for, etc. However, Hermione is the only one who packs anything, knows any protective charms, and brings MEDICAL SUPPLIES for when one of them inevitably gets hurt. Without Hermione, what did Harry have with him? His wand. That will do absolutely nothing. You would think that if you’re the most wanted wizards you would have prepared yourself a little more for being on the lam, maybe a sleeping bag? Some trail mix? And then at the end, Neville saves the day (yay!) and for some reason in the back of my mind I imagine Harry sulking and muttering “But I was supposed to be the chosen one."
MORAL OF THE STORY: The series is amazing, and if you haven’t read it by now, move the rock you’re living under and read them. However, I will stand by my position that Harry kinda just seems to skate by with help from everyone else and gets all the glory, which is infuriating. #TeamHermione for the win.
