Earlier this year, the word ‘ghosting’ was officially added to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary. Defined as ‘the phenomenon of leaving a relationship of some kind by abruptly ending all contact with the other person, especially electronic contact, like texts, emails, and chats’, ghosting has become so prevalent in today’s culture that it officially graduated from street slang to a part of the English language.
Those who have had the distinct pleasure of being ghosted can attest to the fact that ghosting is a terrible dating practice. We all have our fair share of ghosting stories, but I have one that takes the cake: one time I was ghosted by a coworker that I had been casually dating on the DL. He knew that he would see me EVERYDAY at work in a small office environment, yet he opted to showcase his lack of gonads by terminating our relationship through ghosting. As you can imagine, it made things terribly awkward since the proper execution of ghosting relies on the fact that you don’t have to see that person. Hence, why the cease of all communication further demonstrates the ending of the relationship. But don’t worry friends, I got my retribution in that situation. I cornered the dipwad one day after work and explained how given our circumstances, a simple conversation was warranted and would have more than sufficed for me. Seeing the guy stammer, squirm, and finally forced to take accountability for his immaturity made me feel just a little better for all the days I felt awkward in the heat of the ghosting.
These are the reasons why the act of ghosting should ghost forever.
It’s simply barbaric.
We as humans have both the capacity and the ability to use our communication skills and emotional intelligence to relate to and converse with one another. If you can’t muster up the courage or the brain power to verbally express that you don’t want to continue seeing someone, then maybe you shouldn’t even be in the dating field. Really. It’s quite concerning.
It’s insensitive.
However much you want to avoid discomfort or hurting the other person’s feelings, ghosting is not the way to do it. It’s actually mean because you’re basically refusing to acknowledge the other person’s existence when (whether you like to admit or not) you had some sort of relationship. Additionally, when you ghost someone you’re dismissing the history you had with that person. However casual or early on in the dating process you were, if you were intimate with that person, then you owe it to them to break it off in a decent way.
It’s a bad reflection on you.
The act of ghosting shows a lack of courage or strength. It means that you’d rather hide or run away, than face something that isn’t ideal. We all have to do things that we don’t want to do; it is part of being an adult. When you show an inability to do that, it makes you appear childish and cowardly. And honestly, not having balls is NOT a good look for a man.
There are SO many better ways.
I get it! Breaking things off with someone is not fun. It’s unpleasant and awkward, especially when it’s not mutually wanted by both parties. I think that some people ghost because they really think it’s the best option. Let me just tell you, it’s not. For one, all women are not crazy and won’t have a disproportional reaction to a break-up conversation. In fact, having a conversation will more than likely PREVENT the woman from overreacting. And if sharing your feelings and being open is something that’s hard for you, you don’t even need to go into serious detail. ANY type of explanation (even a false explanation), is better than no explanation.
Whether you believe in karma or not, sparing another human being’s feelings is never a bad thing to do. You’re not a terrible person if you want to discontinue a relationship. But, choosing to ghost as a means to end the relationship is not the right way. It’s immature, unkind, and a crummy dating practice. Hopefully, you will consider other avenues when it comes to your next break up. Flaunt those cojones!
