Do you ever hear a “no” from something you really wanted to do or be a part of? Do you ever get the answer “no” multiple times, whether that be trying for jobs, internships, clubs, or even relationships? Do you ever hear a “yes” that scares you way more than all the “nos"?
Well, you’re not alone. Everything that I applied for this summer and next year, I heard a “no." But the one “yes” I received requires me to move to a place I’ve never been, away from my family for three months this summer. I have limited time off and would be working at a Christian summer camp.
This scares me. I know a few people that will be working there, but none of them very well. And though I’m currently living at college right now, I live 20 minutes from home and see my family at least twice a month.
Honestly, for this reason, I don’t want to go. I don’t want to be away from my family and friends for this long.
But what if God wants me to go? Ahh. I know that if I do go, I will experience undisturbed quiet alone time with God every single day, which will grow my relationship with God so much. I know that camp will help me to grow in relationships with others, as well as provide a safe place for me to work through some things that have happened this year.
“Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast…Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” -Psalm 139:7-10, 23-24
Following Jesus doesn’t mean staying in your comfort zone. Following Jesus means getting out of the boat and walking on water towards Jesus while you’re scared shitless, with Jesus saying “Take courage. Don’t be afraid. Come.” – Matthew 14:27. And when we see the wind and get scared and start to sink, Jesus will be right there to catch us.
“For you have been my hope, Sovereign Lord, my confidence since my youth. From birth I have relied on you; you brought me forth from my mother’s womb. I will ever praise you. I have become a sign to many; you are my strong refuge. My mouth is filled with your praise, declaring your splendor all day long.” – Psalm 71:5-8
Following Jesus is scary. God calls us out upon the waters, the great unknown, where feet may fail, to quote the famous “Oceans” by Hillsong. But it’s true. And it is there, in oceans deep, where you can rely on no one but God, that our faith is tested yet strengthened – and that is a beautiful thing.
