Finally, the perfect pair of jeans. The right fit, size and wash. A true modern-day miracle.

But, wait. Something's not quite right. You go to put your hands in the front pockets, only to discover a major flaw. The pockets are sewn shut or, even worse, half-an-inch deep.

In women's pants, and other garments such as jackets and dresses, the fake pocket epidemic is spreading. More and more designers are opting to sew pockets shut and have them for "decorative" purposes only, which completely defeats the purpose of having pockets at all. I can't think of a time in my life when I ever thought to myself "Wow, you know what would be really great? If these pockets were sewn shut so they're completely dysfunctional. That's a huge fashion statement."

Clearly someone has thought this way because I can't go into almost any store without finding pants or jackets with pockets that don't work as pockets. I suppose designers don't understand what pockets are actually used for, which is storing things that are, as a general rule, larger than a pin.

Men's pants have huge pockets, and it's not like they have more to carry than women do. I have a phone, wallet and keys too, but I can't fit them in my pockets because they aren't big enough, or I don't have pockets at all (I guess the designer didn't feel as if decorative pockets were right for these garments).

While women do have purses to carry these things, sometimes it is just easier to drop change and a receipt into a pocket instead of fumbling around with change at the checkout, which is always an unnerving experience.

Companies like American Eagle and J. Crew have acknowledged the fact that their women's pants lack sufficient pocket space. Other companies have said that women's pants are made to appear slimmer, and having real and functional pockets would take away from that.

I think I could deal with having a little extra fabric on my jeans if it meant I could actually fit real items in the pockets. I mean, I shouldn't have to buy cargo pants ready for a week-long fishing adventure just to have pockets. It's 2016! Where are fashionable clothes that have real pockets?

I like to think I'm a pretty reasonable person. I'm not asking for pockets that go down to my ankles, but if my hand could fit into my pockets, I wouldn't be complaining.

I'm not asking for much. I'm not asking for world peace, although that would be nice.

I'm just asking for pockets.