Why I Don't Watch "Once Upon A Time" Anymore
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Why I Don't Watch "Once Upon A Time" Anymore

This show used to be my favorite. It used to be my dream show. It was everything I ever wanted. But then...

Why I Don't Watch "Once Upon A Time" Anymore
"You're being stupid. So stop it." -Regina Mills, Once Upon A Time

Oh, boy. That's the only quote I think of when I think about Once Upon A Time these days. When I first started watching it, there were only two seasons on Netflix and there was a ton of character development and red leather jackets and beautiful twists and turns and Lana Parrilla's short hair (R.I.P. Regina's short hair: Season 1-Season 3). The show was about fairy tales and a world where happy endings weren't easy to come by and it was just good.

But then, at some point, the enchantment wore off for me. I started not caring if I wasn't home in time on Sunday nights to catch the new episode or worrying that my DVR was recording my American Ninja Warrior over my OUAT. It was just meh. Then I stopped watching all together. Why? Where did it go wrong? Why did our love end?

Well, I've thought about it. And here's the top ten reasons I don't want to watch the show anymore. (Notice I said the top ten, not the only ten.) Before I go on, let me say I'm just expressin' my opinion, but I'm 'bout to be hatin', so prepare yourselves.

10. Plot holes

Don't get me wrong, I like shows that you can watch a single episode of and not be lost. But for a show that's supposed to be like a storybook, it became super confusing somewhere around season 2/3. All you OUAT fans out there know exactly what I'm talking about. It's like they went for too much and left us in the dust, trying to gather the pieces of plot left behind. The Charming family tree, for starters. Too confusing. No thanks. Where did all the side characters go? How come we couldn't get to the enchanted forest for the entire first season, but then there were suddenly four hundred ways to get there just chilling in Rumple's shop? HOW COME ERRYBODY CAN COME BACK FROM THE DEAD EXCEPT DANIEL? WHAT NONSENSE IS THIS? And the most annoying to me: In the pilot, Snow claimed that Regina tried to poison her because she thought Snow was prettier. We all know that isn't the way the show took it and, having seen Lana Parrilla with mine own eyeballses, I can't believe this was ever actually the storyline they were going to go with. So why did she say it? Just filling in the blanks 'til they could figure it out once the pilot was picked up? Accident? Is Snow a big lying, liar?

9. The Charmings

Speaking of Snow/Mary Margaret! Her and Charming/David. What happened to you two? I loved them in season one. Maybe because David was asleep for a chunk of it and Mary Margaret was havin' buck nasty one night stands with Frankenstein, but they were so much more fun then! The second they remembered who they were and became all "We royals must run things!" I was done with them. Then they went and had another baby and were like, "We're going to do things right this time!" And five seconds later, "Belle, hold this kid, we gotta go to literal Hell to save our daughter's bf. Thx, l8r." WHY DID THEY LEAVE THE DEFENSELESS BABY TO GO TAKE CARE OF THEIR FORMER BOUNTY-HUNTER DAUGHTER? They've gotten progressively dumber as the show continues and I'm not sure there's any way to save their characters now, honestly. But I adore Ginny Goodwin and Josh Dallas and I love their real life Snow White/Prince Charming love!

8. All these characters we're hittin' and quittin'

Elsa and Anna. Merida. Ursula. Mickey Mouse. Merlin. All these awesome characters that could have been AMAZING as regulars. And they just show up for a few episodes, if that, then poof. Gone. Used as stepping stones for the main cast to move about and to pull in that Disney fandom. Nothing sucks more than seeing Merida be ditched to continue talking about Hook. Sigh.

7. Henry

Remember when Henry was the whole reason behind everything? When Emma and Regina were just trying to love him and make him happy? When the show actually had real emotional value? When it was about family? If so, it's because you haven't been sucked into the abyss that is season 4 and 5. Good for you.

6. Cruella

Guys. Cruella. Sure, I was skeptical at first. I had questions. None were answered. But Cruella was DIVINE as a villain! I know this is a family show, but it was about time something real came on screen. This woman was just plain psycho! She was all bad all the time and gave no apologies! And her eyebrows! Damn, I wish she was still on the show. I wish she had her own show.

5. Mulan

Ya wait 24 years for some kinda representation on a popular T.V. show and you finally get it, only to have it RIPPED AWAY A LITERAL SECOND LATER. Once Upon A Time promised us an LGBT character, and there she was. Mulan. Marching off to war-I mean, to tell Aurora she loved her. And Aurora dropped the baby bomb that she was having Prince Phillip's monkey-faced child, and Mulan ran off, heartbroken. Classic tale of the gay girl falling for the straight girl. I was heartbroken, but damn if I wasn't relating. BUT THEN SHE WAS GONE. GONE, I TELL YOU. Mulan didn't return until SEASON 5, by which time, I had given up on watching the show and only knew what I knew about everything through reading Lily Spark's reviews. Mulan will never get a happy ending, I assume, but I'll come back to that.

4. Robin

WHERE DO I START WITH ROBIN? Dear Robin fans, I'm so sorry, but I LOATHE Robin. I was so excited when he first was rumored to appear, because Robin Hood was my all-time favorite Disney movie. I was so ready. But then, they put him with Regina. Regina is my favorite character in the world and deserves SO MUCH, YOU GUYS. All the happiness and more. I love her. And this guy was not even close to good enough. Sure, at first, I was interested. During their Enchanted Forest romp, I liked their dynamic. They disliked each other because they knew who they other was and they fought, but grew to like each other despite it. That's real, y'all. But then, when they returned to Storybrooke and didn't remember that year in the EF, they got together SO FAST. Literally, a few minutes after meeting, Robin was getting far too close to Regina while they searched the witch's house. And all that animosity that had been there when they met before was gone. Why? I don't understand it. THEN they got together. I wasn't super thrilled with the speed of said courtship, but okay. THEN Marian came back. And Robin went back to her and my little 98-year-old heart nearly broke the pacemaker, because here was a good damn man that would somehow end up back with Regina and it would all be okay, but he had to go be a good husband for a little bit. I was all in. THEN Marian got frozen. SHE WASN'T DEAD. SHE WASN'T EVEN WHEELED OUT OF THE ROOM before Robin was back on the Regina train, gettin' freaky in her crypt of hearts. Thus, my hatred began. THEN Marian was saved and Robin had decided to stay with Regina. THEN Marian was freezing again, Idk, guys it was all kinda crazy that episode, and he was leaving with her and I was screaming GOOD RIDDANCE at my T.V. while I tried to point the antennas the right way to get color back.

But then, the biggest mistake he could have made. The unforgivable. The timeline was six weeks. He was gone with Marian and Roland for SIX. WEEKS. At some point during these six weeks, Zelena (who had been impersonating Marian the whole time), called Regina and hinted that she was preggers. THEY WERE BARELY GONE BEFORE HE WAS GETTIN' OVER REGINA BY GETTIN' UNDER MARIAN, GUYS. They hooked up early enough for her to know she was pregnant some point before they came back. Like, I understand he thought he'd never see Regina again and Marian was his wife and all that. But he could have at least waited a few months. Regina was supposed to be his soulmate. I hated Robin so much. He was SUCH a large part of me quitting OUAT.

3. Emma post-Hook

Emma was the MAN in season 1! She was running around taking no shiz from anybody and cuttin' up apple trees and getting arrested every few seconds. She straight up took out the Mad Hatter when he kidnapped her and she was the role model she didn't think she could be. She was teaching Henry to stick up for himself and to go get his happiness. She went from saying things like, "You want people to look at you differently? Make them!" and "You know you don't have to dress a woman as a man to give her authority." to going to Hell with her entire family to save a guy that just tried to kill her entire family. Oh, he changed his mind at the last second! Whoopee! No, sir. You belong where you ended up.

But Emma used to be so confident and cool. I liked seeing her softer side, seeing that she had real insecurities and fears, but I loved that she could handle them. She could dish it out and take it just as well. She got through life on pure power of will and that was great to see on my T.V. But then Hook came along and suddenly, she was just hanging on his arm every second. She started pulling a Charmings and got dumber. She lost confidence in herself and was crying every other episode. SHE TOOK HENRY TO HELL WITH HER WHEN SHE WENT TO SAVE HOOK. WHAT. NO. Regina let him come too, but I'll get to that. Does anyone else remember when Emma cared so much about Henry that she would have said, "NO, SIR." to him coming? I do! What changed? I don't care how old he is, that is your SON. But all she can see anymore is Hook. I want Emma Swan back. I DEMAND Emma Swan back!

2. Hook

Hook. His arrival on the show was really what kick-started my break-up with OUAT. He was slimy and misogynistic and PUNCHED BELLE IN THE FACE and SHOT HER, I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN. Sure. Colin O'Donoghue is beautiful and adorable, but I HATE Hook. Mostly because he ruined Emma. He arrived and her character became all about the parts of her that related to him. We don't see her relationship with her son nearly as much as we used to, or her friends, or her parents. It's all about Hook. The whole stupid show has become about Hook these days. Seriously, Google "Once Upon A Time" and see whose face pops up the most. Certainly not Emma's or Regina's or Henry's. No. It's Hook. Everywhere. And then he tried to kill Emma's whole family because....because she saved his life?? IDK. Also, when he was running around being Rumple's puppet, he did it because he believed his hand was evil and he punched a guy for no reason and didn't want Rumple to tell on him. But the hand was perfectly normal. Which means, he punched the guy for LITERALLY NO REASON. He did all that bad stuff himself, then tried to blame it on Rumple tricking him. No, dude. You're still the worst person is all it is. Remember when you PUNCHED BELLE or when you SHOT BELLE. #NeverForgetNeverForgive

1. Ruby and Dorothy

I wanted to love this. I really did. But this was the sloppiest, most rushed coupling I've ever seen in my life. I didn't have time to get to know Dorothy. When the season's sneak peaks were being leaked, everyone thought Ruby and Mulan were going to end up together. And honestly, if that had happened, I would have thrown away every other objection I have to this show to watch it again, because I loved Ruby and I loved Mulan already. Seeing them together would have been so amazing, guys. They deserve each other. But instead, I got this cobbled together pandering to the LGBT community. This was literally us getting thrown the scraps from the table. They chose the two girls farthest from Disney and shoved them together as quickly as possible hoping we'd be happy. Well, we're not. We never will be again, some of us. Because we waited our whole lives for Mulan. We listened to every fairy tale about girls that weren't like us and watched every Disney movie with a happy ending we didn't expect to ever have. And we hoped one day there'd be one like us. And you gave her to us, OUAT, but then you threw her away. Ruby and Dorothy were a mockery when held up against Emma and Graham from season 1 and Regina and Daniel, whose ring she kept for centuries. Every other couple got so much build up, but we got two full scenes before the true love's kiss. That was it. That was the whole foundation of this romance that we've waited forever for.

I can't think of a single thing that would bring me back to watching OUAT after this. No thank you.

But maybe some of you feel differently. Let me know what you feel about the show or these reasons I've given. Thanks for reading!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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