Why Is There Still A Stigma Around Online Dating?

Why Is There Still A Stigma Around Online Dating?

Less rom-com and more rom-Vine.
749
views

I ordered a MacBook case from Amazon. It’s marble and makes me feel like I’m adhering to the Tumblr aesthetic.

We order cases online. We read articles online. We order food. We make Facebook study groups.

Our world is becoming increasingly grounded in virtual reality, and yet we still harbor major judgment about meeting people online. After the initial craze of Tinder died down, it became weird to still be on it. We hold judgment about people meeting on Grindr, Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel. If someone in college is on eHarmony, we think they’re prematurely considering spinsterhood.

But why is there still a stigma about meeting online? How does it really differ from meeting someone in a bar? Or bumping into someone in line at the grocery store?

“It seems like a last resort,” said Claire.

Part of it is residual—judgment passed down from our parents. Our parents didn’t grow up with the Internet, so they view it with a certain disdain and distance. My parents grew up a mile from each other, and met while volunteering at their former middle school. My grandparents grew up together. Their world was small, and their dating pool was even smaller.

But with the advent of the Internet, our world has been cracked wide open. When I was abroad, I was able to be as annoyed by my parents as I am when I’m standing right next to them. Our world is big and small; everything is instantaneous. As millennials, we don’t see the Internet as some foreign entity. We see it as a natural extension of social interaction. But with the positive comes the dark side.

“It’s anonymous, so people use it to be the weirdest versions of themselves,” said Kate. And that anonymity—and the subsequent weirdness—creates a blanket generalization. If one person was weird, then they all must be weird, right? Because the Internet is the safe haven for weirdos, it carries the bad rap that if you are using it for dating, then you must have something wrong with you.

But that’s not the case. In the same way that people used professional matchmakers and blind dates, we use social dating apps. We’re busy, and sometimes we want to take the impetus out of our own hands. I can only ask out so many people before I want to give up, grab a pint of ice cream and curl up in a ball. It’s not just desperate people who are utilizing the digital dating scene. It’s us; it’s me; it’s you.

“I went through and all of my friends had either a Bumble or something, and I thought, ‘Well you guys are normal,'” said Emma.

So if normal people are using apps like Tinder and Hinge, then the Internet can’t just be for the millennial Norman Bates' of the world. It’s time that we stop keeping our habits in the metaphorical closet. Everyone and their mother—sometimes literally—uses dating apps and websites. It’s the way of the world. And the sooner we acknowledge that, the sooner the stigma will diminish. Our world is becoming increasingly digital, so dating online will become more and more common. I don’t think it’ll ever replace the traditional meet-cutes, so keep loitering around that cute barista, but don’t love-shame your friend who uses Tinder recreationally.

Unless they’re literally Norman Bates, in which case maybe report that? Use your judgment.

Cover Image Credit: Oprah

Popular Right Now

3 Reasons Why Step Dads Are Super Dads

36897
views

I often hear a lot of people complaining about their step-parents and wondering why they think that they have any authority over them. Although I know that everyone has different situations, I will be the first to admit that I am beyond blessed to have a step dad. Yep, I said it. My life wouldn't be the same that it is not without him in it. Let me tell you why I think step dads are the greatest things since sliced bread.

1. They will do anything for you, literally.

My stepdad has done any and every thing for me. From when I was little until now. He was and still is my go-to. If I was hungry, he would get me food. If something was broken, he would fix it. If I wanted something, he would normally always find a way to get it. He didn't spoil me (just sometimes), but he would make sure that I was always taken care of.

SEE ALSO: The Thank You That Step-Parents Deserve

2. Life lessons.

Yup, the tough one. My stepdad has taught me things that I would have never figured out on my own. He has stood beside me through every mistake. He has been there to pick me up when I am down. My stepdad is like the book of knowledge: crazy hormonal teenage edition. Boy problems? He would probably make me feel better. He just always seemed to know what to say. I think that the most important lesson that I have learned from my stepdad is: to never give up. My stepdad has been through three cycles of leukemia. He is now in remission, yay!! But, I never heard him complain. I never heard him worry and I never saw him feeling sorry for himself. Through you, I found strength.

3. He loved me as his own.

The big one, the one that may seem impossible to some step parents. My stepdad is not actually my stepdad, but rather my dad. I will never have enough words to explain how grateful I am for this man, which is why I am attempting to write this right now. It takes a special kind of human to love another as if they are their own. There had never been times where I didn't think that my dad wouldn't be there for me. It was like I always knew he would be. He introduces me as his daughter, and he is my dad. I wouldn't have it any other way. You were able to show me what family is.

So, dad... thanks. Thanks for being you. Thanks for being awesome. Thanks for being strong. Thanks for loving me. Thanks for loving my mom. Thanks for giving me a wonderful little sister. Thanks for being someone that I can count on. Thanks for being my dad.

I love you!

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

10 TV Shows You Need To Watch On Hulu

Hulu is slept on

306
views

I have recently moved to watch shows and movies on Hulu and Netflix. Hulu has a lot of great shows and movies to offer that aren't on Netflix. While Netflix is still great, Hulu is definitely starting to grow on me. Here are some shows that I have watched or have started watching on Hulu that I think are pretty great!

1. 11.22.63

farm2.staticflickr.com

If you love James Franco and Stephen King, you'll love this show. The first episode is a bit long, but all the other episodes are only 45 minutes. The plot line is pretty interesting. I also like that it doesn't tell you everything, it shows it to you and you piece things together.

2. The Act

The fact that this show is based on a true story is just insane. The acting is really great, especially if you watch actual videos of Gypsy, Joey King does a great job.

3. Castle Rock

Another Stephen King masterpiece. This show is riveting and really makes you think about what the truth is in the context of the story, and brings in some ethical questions.

4. Future Man

I've only recently started this but it's pretty interesting and funny.

5. The O.C.

The O.C. (TV Series 2003–2007) - IMDb

www.imdb.com

This show was great. Sometimes it was a bit annoying, but it is a classic show from the early 2000s. You really become invested in all the characters and your opinion may change on some characters because they grow and develop throughout the show.

6. The Handmaid's Tale

If you've read the book, you should definitely watch the show.

7. Obsession: Dark Desires

https://www.hulu.com/

I just love true crime stories and this really dives deep into crime stories and the darkest parts of humanity.

8. Intervention

This show can be really sad or frustrating, but I think it's good for people to see the reality of addiction.

9. Smallville

Smallville (2001-2011)

www.imdb.com

I also started this one very recently and I've always wanted to watch it. It can be cheesy but it's pretty entertaining.

10. Brooklyn Nine-Nine

upload.wikimedia.org

This is a great show if you want to laugh. I love all of the characters and everything they bring to the table.

Related Content

Facebook Comments