13 Things That You'll Probably Need To Do When You Don't Like Yourself Very Much

13 Things That You'll Probably Need To Do When You Don't Like Yourself Very Much

You are so valuable and loved – that's a fact, no matter what you feel.
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I'm not going to pretend that this list is going to fix everything or that after doing the things on this list you'll be OK because that's simply not true.

This isn't some kind of easy fix formula for the problems of life, but maybe you'll be a little better.

And better is all we can really ask of ourselves, right? So, here we go. A list of things to do when you don't like yourself very much.

1. Make cinnamon rolls, or cookies or hot tea.

Or all three. Because #selfcare.

2. Listen to music that is actually happy, but muted happy so it doesn't just feel like nails against the chalkboard of your heart.

Personally, I love this song. It makes me feel good. But not too good. Just right.

3. Take a long shower, feel the hot water and shampoo your hair. Be thankful that you can.

Stop going through the motions, and pause to appreciate the scalding water on your skin and the smell of that new shampoo. The fact that we even have access to these things is amazing!

4. Go for a walk, seriously. Doesn't matter what time of day.

Notice the color of the leaves or the snow on the ground. Get outside of your own head. If all else fails, you might even see a dog, and then it'll all have been worth it!

5. Try making someone else happy.

Write a note to a friend and snail mail it. Go play a game with your siblings. Do something to help out your roommate. Switching the focus from yourself to others is life-changing.

6. Clean. Organize. Start small. It feels good, promise.

You may or may not feel purged and ALIVE. Speaking from personal experience here.

7. Look at the first and/or last sentence in all your books.

Don't let yourself get caught up in the progress of your story. It is a work in progress... that's how it's supposed to be. And, believe it or not, this isn't the end. Not even close.

8. Start writing your flow of thought. Maybe it'll turn into something.

OR NOT. That's fine, too. For me, writing helps me to process everything so much better. It also helps to guide my thought life. So, something I've started doing is keeping a gratitude journal of little things that make me happy. Sometimes you have to fight the negativity in your thought life. Pen and paper are kind of powerful weapons. So, use them.

9. Or draw your thoughts. Get the bad ones out. Make the good ones into something pretty, or just something that means something to you.

This is fun because if you don't like it, you can just crumple up the paper and throw it in the trash can.

10. Go to sleep.

Does this really need an explanation?

11. Make art, preferably watercolors.

It doesn't have to be impressive. Just art, because you are capable of creating. How cool is that? Like, you're kind of amazing.

12. Pray. Write your prayers out.

I could probably be hired as a promoter for prayer journals at this point because I just don't know how to shut up about them. Writing my prayers out has seriously salvaged my prayer life.

13. Flip through your Bible. Look at the underlined verses. Write them out. Speak truth to yourself.

See number eight. Same thing here about how the words we write affect the way we think. What better way for us to fight the lies about our worth and value than with the Truth?

And, in case you forgot, if you are His, Jesus loves you just as much in this moment as he did in the moment that he chose to endure the suffering and humiliation of the cross for your sake.

You are so valuable and loved — that's a fact, no matter what you feel.

Cover Image Credit: 123rf

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This Is How Your Same-Sex Marriage Affects Me As A Catholic Woman

I hear you over there, Bible Bob.
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It won't.

Wait, what?

I promise you did read that right. Not what you were expecting me to say, right? Who another person decides to marry will never in any way affect my own marriage whatsoever. Unless they try to marry the person that I want to, then we might have a few problems.

As a kid, I was raised, baptized, and confirmed into an old school Irish Catholic church in the middle of a small, midwestern town.

Not exactly a place that most people would consider to be very liberal or open-minded. Despite this I was taught to love and accept others as a child, to not cast judgment because the only person fit to judge was God. I learned this from my Grandpa, a man whose love of others was only rivaled by his love of sweets and spoiling his grandkids.

While I learned this at an early age, not everyone else in my hometown — or even within my own church — seemed to get the memo. When same-sex marriage was finally legalized country-wide, I cried tears of joy for some of my closest friends who happen to be members of the LGBTQ community.

I was happy while others I knew were disgusted and even enraged.

"That's not what it says in the bible! Marriage is between a man and a woman!"

"God made Adam and Eve for a reason! Man shall not lie with another man as he would a woman!"

"Homosexuality is a sin! It's bad enough that they're all going to hell, now we're letting them marry?"

Alright, Bible Bob, we get it, you don't agree with same-sex relationships. Honestly, that's not the issue. One of our civil liberties as United States citizens is the freedom of religion. If you believe your religion doesn't support homosexuality that's OK.

What isn't OK is thinking that your religious beliefs should dictate others lives.

What isn't OK is using your religion or your beliefs to take away rights from those who chose to live their life differently than you.

Some members of my church are still convinced that their marriage now means less because people are free to marry whoever they want to. Honestly, I wish I was kidding. Tell me again, Brenda how exactly do Steve and Jason's marriage affect yours and Tom's?

It doesn't. Really, it doesn't affect you at all.

Unless Tom suddenly starts having an affair with Steve their marriage has zero effect on you. You never know Brenda, you and Jason might become best friends by the end of the divorce. (And in that case, Brenda and Tom both need to go to church considering the bible also teaches against adultery and divorce.)

I'll say it one more time for the people in the back: same-sex marriage does not affect you even if you or your religion does not support it. If you don't agree with same-sex marriage then do not marry someone of the same sex. Really, it's a simple concept.

It amazes me that I still actually have to discuss this with some people in 2017. And it amazes me that people use God as a reason to hinder the lives of others.

As a proud young Catholic woman, I wholeheartedly support the LGBTQ community with my entire being.

My God taught me to not hold hate so close to my heart. He told me not to judge and to accept others with open arms. My God taught me to love and I hope yours teaches you the same.

Disclaimer - This article in no way is meant to be an insult to the Bible or religion or the LGBTQ community.

Cover Image Credit: Sushiesque / Flickr

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The 3 Lies You Tell Yourself When You Dismiss Someone’s Compliment

Accepting compliments graciously does not make you prideful and self-absorbed.
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I will be the first to admit that I am notorious for rationalizing myself out of compliments or just straight up dismissing them.

I only found myself with a better perspective after I got outside of myself (shocking, I know). Not only did I realize how offended I would feel if someone doubted or dismissed the genuineness of my own compliment directed at them, but I realized that I have actually been lying to myself in order to justify dismissing them! Red lights.

See if you can relate to telling yourself any of these lies, and make sure you read to the end for some truth to speak over yourself instead.

1. "They’re lying."

This is my go to because it's so easy to just think this and move on, which is horrible, but, apparently, I am horrible sometimes.

Maybe you don’t sound as harsh in the way you respond. “They can’t actually mean that.” But, ultimately, you’re still telling yourself the same thing. You’re literally lying to yourself about them lying.

If you can’t see the problem here, well, then, that’s a problem.

2. "They’re just saying that to make me feel good or they just want something out of me."

This reflects bad motives on those that (chances are) are genuinely complimenting you simply because your view of yourself doesn’t allow for the heartfelt and honest kindness they’re showing to you.

Maybe you try to make it sound good, like “You’re too nice to me.”

OK, no. This isn’t some kind of personal pity party that they decided to throw for you because they were like “Aw, she actually sucks, so I should probably be nice.”

These assumptions are so insulting, not only to yourself but to those people who see the good in you and want you to see it as well.

Imagine how you would feel if someone dismissed something you said to them in this same way. It’s really rude and hurtful.

3. "I'm not talented/pretty/whatever it is they’re saying I am."

This is really the heart of the issue because none of the other assumptions would be made if you didn’t believe this lie in the first place.

We have to completely change our internal dialogue. Start speaking truth to yourself.

Accepting compliments graciously does not require you to be prideful and self-absorbed.

I'm not sure where this idea got started, but apparently, it's running rampant through the streets now.

Words of affirmation are meant to do just that and there's nothing wrong with it!

And, if you feel like you don't even have this problem, because it seems like no one feels any need to compliment you, just know that Someone already has.

Your Creator knew you and formed you perfectly in His Image according to His will and what He knew would be good.

Isaiah 43 says,

"But now, this is what the Lord says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel... you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you."

Zechariah 3:17 says,

"The Lord your God is in your midst... he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing."

And Psalm 139:14 says,

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

We have every reason to rejoice in what God has done in and through us.

Be thankful that He has given you these words and so many others so that you can be secure in Him and what He has spoken over you, rather than being overly preoccupied with what others are or are not saying. And if they are complimenting you, be happy to accept it and return the kindness.

Speak truth in love, not lies in self-loathing.

Cover Image Credit: Photo by Mikail Duran on Unsplash

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