The last time I cut my hair might've been in 2011. I've trimmed it often, but cutting off inches was never an option, and if the hairdresser even thought about getting scissor happy, I shut her down real quick. My hair has always been my defining physical quality.
"Wow, your hair is soooo long!"
"Omg, how long have you been growing your hair???"
"How long does it take you to wash all that? It's beautiful!"
"Favorite quality: your hair!"
My hair has always been my pride and joy and having it short only felt like I was cheating myself and losing one of my best qualities. But recently, I've felt an immense amount of emotional and mental weight. Every day felt boring and tiresome, and I was consumed with my busy schedule and my buzzing thoughts of unimportant people and things. I was desperate for something to change, something to help me feel better.
So, I asked my roommate on September 30th to cut 15 inches of my hair off.
The reactions I've gotten about my haircut are funny because everyone is shocked and some even upset about it as if it's a piece of them they've lost. I can honestly say I've never felt so good about myself.
People have asked me if I cried while she cut it or afterwards, but I didn't. I thought I would've too. I was crazily shaking, but besides that I was laughing. I could not contain my laughter because I felt so free and relieved. Not only did I feel the literal weight being lifted off my shoulders, but I felt like it was a point to start anew. When you lose a defining quality like hair, you feel like a new person. And I know that it's the most cliché thing to say, but I feel like a new Kim. It's a point of inspiration to start all over again.
It's hard to love yourself when you don't feel comfortable in your own skin. I think I got too accustomed to my appearance and my dissatisfaction with it that I never thought changing it would make me happier. As strange as it may sound, I depended on my hair to make me feel pretty and happy, but I was too afraid to ever change it in the unlikely event that it would make me look bad.
I feel happier, I am happier, and I look happier. My friends have told me they're happy about my haircut because they see me in a better place. Sometimes, change is all you need!
I've gotten to a point where I'm exhausted and annoyed by myself for being so afraid of change. I get too comfortable in my own unhappiness, and the only way to feel good and happy is to welcome change with open arms — so that is exactly what I did.
If you plan on being spontaneous or loving yourself a little more by dramatically chopping off your hair, donate it! I'm donating mine here, but you can also donate here, here, and here (just to name a few).
