Christmas is a staple holiday for a majority of Americans. Yet, despite being a holiday loved and cherished by many, it’s not always merry and bright. However, in order to not seem like a complete Scrooge, photos from popular Christmas movies have been used to illustrate the feelings of utter loathing for the holiday.
1. The Crazed-Christmasers come out. You know who they are. They’re the ones who start playing Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You” on full-blast 24/7 at midnight on Halloween, begin their Christmas shopping in June, and wear a different holiday sweater for every day of December. They’re the worst kinds of people in the world. Nobody is that jolly. They must be hiding something in their sweater vests.
2. The entire concept of Santa is actually terrifying. A creepy stranger with a beard full of secrets whose lap you sit on and tell him what you want? No, thanks, I’ll use Pinterest.
3. You receive horrible gifts, and have to try on the outfits for your family in a twisted fashion show.
4. You must perfect the art of pretending to like the heinous gifts given to you. Since when did getting old become directly proportional to the amount of socks I’ll receive?
5. Your “relaxing” family time is actually watching your mother turn into a Gremlin in front of your very eyes the closer it comes to having guests arrive. (For the love of God, don’t feed her after midnight).
6. It’s cold out. It’s not exactly Christmas’s fault that it’s cold, but Christmas signifies the full onslaught of winter. And this means leaving half an hour early for everything so you can bundle up in all your winter gear until you look like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, clean the foot of snow off your car, and drive through the hundreds of people who lose their minds after a snowflake hits the ground and forget how to drive.
7. Having a house full of guests means that you have to give your memory foam mattress up to your grandparents while you sleep on the living room couch. And by sleep, I mean lay in the dark listening to your uncle snore in the room next to you and hope that, by some Christmas miracle, you don’t wake up with a five-year-old Cheetoh stuck to your forehead.
8. You aren’t actually in a cheerful mood. After days of traveling, hours of baking, and spending your entire savings account on gifts, you’re exhausted and ready for the day to be over. And let’s be honest; the food isn’t even that good. Can’t we just agree that instead of a second mediocreThanksgiving dinner we eat what we really want, which is festive french fries and jolly jello shots?
9. Despite the reasons aforementioned in number 8, you force yourself to have the “Best Christmas Yet!” Which starts off well and slowly takes a downward slope and crash-lands into a pile of broken candy canes and dreams.
10. The decorations. They’re just the worst. Not only do you have to dig through the attic or garage to find them, but then you have to spend a full day untangling the lights and another full day (or three) putting the lights on the house, only to have them not turn on because ONE of the 25,000 imported Italian twinkle lights is busted.
But, to all those who still love Christmas despite its downfalls, I wish you a very bearable Christmas!
