In seventh grade, my best friend and I sat on my sofa watching "Toddlers and Tiaras." We laughed at the ridiculousness of the show and the temper tantrums Honey Boo Boo frequently had. She then jokingly dared me to compete in a beauty pageant, and since the rest has been history.
What I quickly learned from my first pageant was that most pageants were nothing like "Toddlers and Tiaras." The girls that were competing alongside me were well-spoken, poised, kind and generous. Many of them had a platform, where they raised awareness for a certain issue or organization. Their titles gave them legitimacy and made their voices more easily heard when addressing specific issues. Needless to say I knew none of this entering my first pageant. I was unprepared and completely blindsided by this secret world. However, I made a few very good friends whom I am still close with to this day. Their friendship guided me and encouraged me to compete again. Though we were competitors who wore fancy outfits, at the end of the day we were still people. People who love to be goofy, eat junk food, and wear sweatpants. We have created an unbreakable bond and have made memories that will last a lifetime both on and off the stage.
It hasn't been all glitz and glamour though. I have encountered people who have deliberately gone out of their way to make me feel like a lesser person. The following is a direct quote someone once wrote on a social media account.
"Why the hell do you do pageants, that's such shit. You have to be pretty and have a talent for them. You have to have a nice body, and you are a fucking beast. Huge. Enormous. You are getting nowhere in life. So gay."
Hearing this at the age of 15 should have been enough for me to stop competing and reevaluate my life, but I was in it too far. Pageants had already taught me how to handle different types of people with class. I have realized that not everyone is going to agree with you, not everyone is going to love you, but their opinions don't define your self-worth. So despite the negative comments I have received and the common undermining stereotypes of pageantry, I continue to participate because it has made me able to speak and work with all types of people (something I will be doing for the rest of my life), it has forced me to go out in my community and make a difference, and it has allowed me to meet other girls with similar aspirations as I do.
I have discovered that the term beauty that is associated with these pageants does not refer to one's physical appearance but rather the inner light that each one of us contains. There’s more to pageantry than what a spectator views from the audience or from the comfort of their couch. It’s truly a sisterhood where the good always outweighs the bad. No matter who you are, one can always wear your invisible crown. The one that is defined by spreading kindness, happiness and making the world a better place for all.
