“For God is not unjust. He will not forget how hard you have worked for him and how you have shown your love to him by caring for other believers, as you still do. Our great desire is that you will keep on loving others as long as life lasts, in order to make certain that what you hope for will come true. Then you will not become spiritually dull and indifferent. Instead, you will follow the example of those who are going to inherit God’s promises because of their faith and endurance.” Hebrews 6:10-12

I have this love hate relationship for the amount of love I have for people. I

love in a magnitude that seems unworldly, so much that I would give my life up for everyone I cared for if I knew they would live a happy life. But, sometimes my caring comes off as too much. Especially on days that are not my best like that time of the month or when I see so much potential in people. I began to wonder why does my heart burden so much for people? Why does the idea of shutting someone out literally make me tremble? I would rather exhaust every opportunity on people, than to stop loving them. In the end we are called to love people no matter what. I would wish happiness on my worst enemy and that is something I consider bother a blessing and curse. God has called us to love and no matter how much I fall short of that, I still desire for him to allow me to love people and protect them from the hurts of the world.

We live in a world where loving people is honestly nonexistent and people are so engrossed in themselves. That’s why a lot times people shut me out they do not know how to handle what I have to offer, nor are they ready for the accountability. I pray daily that people would understand the amount of love God has called us to give. 1 Corinthians 12:25-27 describes how I live my life, “So that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it. Now you are Christ’s body, and individually members of it.” My mindset is driven by the idea that you do your actions according to God, not what you want because he has called us to be the body of Christ. We are only a passenger on this earth and our goal is to bring as many people as we can to God. Not to have friends, love, money, or happiness the Lord may provide that in his timing, but at the end of the day, even if we are struggling with our mindset should desire to seek after him.

Just a few days ago I was joking how much easier life would be if I had the screw you attitude some people live life by, but a role model in my life gave me some advice that blew me away. They said, “Hope, the world needs more Hopes. We are actually begging for them.” It made me realize the reality of how open I am and how I let nothing steal my joy. How yes, I was struggling, but it was only because God put that care in my life. So many people have trust issues and just shut the world out, but God did not put us on this earth to shut the world out.

We are called to love, but not long ago, my focus was in a completely other place. I wanted love from the world, particularly guys. I did not realize to truly feel loved I had to give my heart to God. In the process of searching for this worldly love, I sacrificed a lot of happiness, self confidence, and who I was most days. I conformed to what that boy practically expected out of me and even though I claimed to be myself, I was a clone of what they wanted me to be. I did not love people and practically did not love myself. It took hitting rock bottom in several aspects of my life to realize I needed a reality check. The Lord overwhelmed my heart within the next couple months and equipped me with the idea of what love really looked like. I gave my heart over to Christ and eventually he will give it to my future husband or not husband. This is not my life to live it is the Lord's. I finally accepted his calling, that is to truly start to love people like the Lord does. Somedays I may fall back and forget the amount of love the Lord has equipped me with, but that bitterness surpasses when I am quickly reminded of how blessed I am.

Thank you Lord for not giving up on a worthless sinner and giving me the opportunity to love like you want me to regardless of what anyone else thinks. I love in my weakest moments.