5 Reasons Why Candy Corn Sucks
Start writing a post

5 Reasons Why Candy Corn Sucks

I can't just completely despise something and have no reasoning behind it, so here are 5 reasons as to why candy corn is overrated (and utterly gross)

5 Reasons Why Candy Corn Sucks

One of my favorite things to do in life is to go to Target and look at the displays they set up for the holidays. I love walking through the aisles and feeling like I'm in a completely different world because everything for a solid three to four aisles is holiday related. But every year, Halloween corrupts me. As much as I want to enjoy this gothic-like holiday, I just can't. It's clearly topped by Christmas (in my book) and though fall scented candles are one of the best things ever, I just hate Halloween - especially because of candy corn!

Let me be a little bit clearer: candy corn is disgusting. Like, I see a bag of candy corn in the store and I honestly find it repulsive. The worst thing about candy corn is that it definitely looks delectable with its vibrant colors and unique shape, and then you put it in your mouth and it tastes like sugary plastic. And please, don't get me started on those gross mellowcrème pumpkins. Brach's should probably just leave the market while they're successful. However, I can't just completely despise something and have no reasoning behind it, so here are five reasons as to why candy corn is overrated (and utterly gross).

1. It's Pure Sugar

The two most abundant ingredients in candy corn? Corn syrup and sugar. How about you go to your kitchen and mix those two together, add a little bit of honey, and tell me if that tastes good. News flash: it doesn't. Click the gif and begin watching at 1:03. You're welcome.

2. Vampire-Candy Corn Teeth

Stop using sugary blocks of "candy" as your go-to vampire look and go to the dollar store and buy yourself a pair of plastic vampire teeth. They even have glow in the dark and neon colors. You will be fine.

3. Candy Corn Flavored Everything

Oreos, popcorn, cereal, ice-cream, liquor, Hershey's chocolate, Hershey's kisses, cup cakes, Jones soda, pretzels, macarons, Peeps... it's almost as bad as the pumpkin spice craze (but I actually like pumpkin spice).

4. It Doesn't Even Taste Like Corn!

What the heck? I'm from Indiana. Corn-country, corn fields galore, corn everywhere, "knee-high by the Fourth of July". It's borderline offensive that this crap is referred to as corn. It's nowhere near corn, and just because it looks like corn, does not mean that it should be named after corn. Pets look like giant balls of fur, but we don't name them that. C'mon people.

5. This Picture Says It Sucks, So It Does

Because the Internet is always right. Duh.

I realize that this may be offensive to those who love candy corn, but save yourself the stress and don't get too offended. This article is slightly satirical, and I overreacted... a little bit (but not that much). I just really don't like candy corn, okay?

*mic drop*

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments