Why Being Nice Makes Me Sad

Why Being Nice Makes Me Sad

Something to Relate To
395
views

Every day I wake up with a goal to be a better person. Which sounds very cliché, don't you think?

One thing that I have is manners. Manners are embedded in my personality because I was raised with a level of respect. My parents did a fantastic job of raising me, better than any other parents I know, but my mother has always been the real MVP.

My mother always taught me to treat everyone with respect because things are interpreted differently by each person, and being disrespectful to the wrong person could be dangerous. Thanks to my mother’s wisdom, I have made so many friends. I love diversity, and I love everyone. I hardly have conflicts with anyone. This school year so far, I have met more people than I had throughout high school. It’s awesome to have friends. But, my kindness has created blurred vision, especially when it comes to judging a person. You see, when you’re nice and you do things for people, you attract the wrong crowd. You begin to attract disrespectful people who only want to take advantage of that compassion.

By being a nice person, I open my arms to everyone because that’s what a nice person does in general. But, being nice has also lowered my standards for friends and relationships. Over time, you become a product of your environment, so I want to surround myself with people who will encourage me to make good decisions and do great things. But, it’s hard for me to reject someone because by being nice, sometimes I forget to consider my own happiness.

I care more about making others happy than I do myself. In addition, I am not happy. But that doesn’t make sense, right? I like making others happy, so seeing them happy doesn’t make me happy? No. Sometimes I don’t want to do things, but I make sacrifices to see other people happy. Now, it is beginning to exhaust me. I can’t be myself if it makes others unhappy. I feel pressured by my close friends to make stupid decisions and it’s hard for me to say no. If I stand up for myself, I will lose my friends. Nobody likes being put in their place, especially by a “pushover.”

Two of the most important things to remember about life, especially when judging a person, is:

- You are a product of your surroundings.

- People will never change for someone, they will only change for themselves.

I have gone through many personality changes in the past month, to the point where I realize just how terrible I am letting myself be treated. I have been so nice to the wrong people who now feel as if they can say or do whatever they want to me. I have done so much for those people, and it’s hard for me to let them go, but toxicity is toxicity and I should not continue to sacrifice my well being to please them.

I hate being nice, but at the end of the day I will not change. True kindness is a rare thing in this new millennial.

Cover Image Credit: http://static1.squarespace.com

Popular Right Now

This Is How Your Same-Sex Marriage Affects Me As A Catholic Woman

I hear you over there, Bible Bob.
218037
views

It won't.

Wait, what?

I promise you did read that right. Not what you were expecting me to say, right? Who another person decides to marry will never in any way affect my own marriage whatsoever. Unless they try to marry the person that I want to, then we might have a few problems.

As a kid, I was raised, baptized, and confirmed into an old school Irish Catholic church in the middle of a small, midwestern town.

Not exactly a place that most people would consider to be very liberal or open-minded. Despite this I was taught to love and accept others as a child, to not cast judgment because the only person fit to judge was God. I learned this from my Grandpa, a man whose love of others was only rivaled by his love of sweets and spoiling his grandkids.

While I learned this at an early age, not everyone else in my hometown — or even within my own church — seemed to get the memo. When same-sex marriage was finally legalized country-wide, I cried tears of joy for some of my closest friends who happen to be members of the LGBTQ community.

I was happy while others I knew were disgusted and even enraged.

"That's not what it says in the bible! Marriage is between a man and a woman!"

"God made Adam and Eve for a reason! Man shall not lie with another man as he would a woman!"

"Homosexuality is a sin! It's bad enough that they're all going to hell, now we're letting them marry?"

Alright, Bible Bob, we get it, you don't agree with same-sex relationships. Honestly, that's not the issue. One of our civil liberties as United States citizens is the freedom of religion. If you believe your religion doesn't support homosexuality that's OK.

What isn't OK is thinking that your religious beliefs should dictate others lives.

What isn't OK is using your religion or your beliefs to take away rights from those who chose to live their life differently than you.

Some members of my church are still convinced that their marriage now means less because people are free to marry whoever they want to. Honestly, I wish I was kidding. Tell me again, Brenda how exactly do Steve and Jason's marriage affect yours and Tom's?

It doesn't. Really, it doesn't affect you at all.

Unless Tom suddenly starts having an affair with Steve their marriage has zero effect on you. You never know Brenda, you and Jason might become best friends by the end of the divorce. (And in that case, Brenda and Tom both need to go to church considering the bible also teaches against adultery and divorce.)

I'll say it one more time for the people in the back: same-sex marriage does not affect you even if you or your religion does not support it. If you don't agree with same-sex marriage then do not marry someone of the same sex. Really, it's a simple concept.

It amazes me that I still actually have to discuss this with some people in 2017. And it amazes me that people use God as a reason to hinder the lives of others.

As a proud young Catholic woman, I wholeheartedly support the LGBTQ community with my entire being.

My God taught me to not hold hate so close to my heart. He told me not to judge and to accept others with open arms. My God taught me to love and I hope yours teaches you the same.

Disclaimer - This article in no way is meant to be an insult to the Bible or religion or the LGBTQ community.

Cover Image Credit: Sushiesque / Flickr

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Class Size May Matter, But Accountability Matters More

If students take the time to think, they will realize their own potential.
199
views

When it comes to the topic of education, decisions are often made, but not quite acted upon. On the left, we have advocates that look to fund the educational system in hope of bettering the kids’ futures. On the right, education is addressed with a degree of leniency, paired with more of an advocacy for occupational programs and trade schools.

One of the more frequently debated matters regarding education, more specifically K-12, is classroom size. For many schools, a lack of funding has caused many teachers to quit; consequentially, with less teachers, more students, inevitably, have to cram into the same classroom. The student-teacher ratio, in some schools, has gone beyond 30:1. In some cases, the overcrowding issue for a classroom is so profound that a student doesn’t have his or her own desk to sit in.

Due to this notice of classroom size increase, in correlation with declining academic performance, a considerable majority of education reformers believe that the classroom size increase is more of causation. The only issue with this argument, however, is that for a contributing factor to constitute causation, it must be the sole reason that another variable must occur. With correlation, however, there are multiple variables (more than two) that can occur within a specific time span. These variables could potentially influence one another’s behavior, but never fully dictate the outcome.

What the common argument fails to account for is accountability itself. Accountability is not something that is taught in the classroom, nor should it be. This is a crucial part to a child’s success, both in the classroom, and in real life. A perfect example of this is within a lecture hall. In a lecture hall, you could have upwards of more than 150 students in the same room, listening to and meticulously noting all of the essential details to a professor’s lecture. It is up to the student to learn the material with the tools they are given, not the teacher to hold their hand through the class.

The only responsibility of any teacher or instructor is to provide the appropriate materials and knowhow for the student to guide themselves. This prepares the student for more rigorous learning material and tasks, resulting in more favorable opportunities, both scholastic and occupational.

For the teacher to implement the right tools, however, requires that the student can and will hold themselves accountable for their success in the course. Such accountability falls back on the basis of good parenting. As education has shifted, the blame of failure for a student in a class also shifted.

The shift has taken place from the student losing their privileges and extracurricular activities, to the teacher potentially losing their job (which is especially daunting with the threat of new teachers not obtaining tenure). With the latter portion of the Millennial Generation, along with Generation Z, parents bearing excessive leniency and overall apathy have made for a widespread mindset that fails to take responsibility for itself.

It’s time for parents to be accountable for their kids, and for the kids to be accountable for their own success. A system is only as useful as those that utilize it.

Cover Image Credit: Tra Nguyen

Related Content

Facebook Comments