Why Being Nice Makes Me Sad

Why Being Nice Makes Me Sad

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Every day I wake up with a goal to be a better person. Which sounds very cliché, don't you think?

One thing that I have is manners. Manners are embedded in my personality because I was raised with a level of respect. My parents did a fantastic job of raising me, better than any other parents I know, but my mother has always been the real MVP.

My mother always taught me to treat everyone with respect because things are interpreted differently by each person, and being disrespectful to the wrong person could be dangerous. Thanks to my mother’s wisdom, I have made so many friends. I love diversity, and I love everyone. I hardly have conflicts with anyone. This school year so far, I have met more people than I had throughout high school. It’s awesome to have friends. But, my kindness has created blurred vision, especially when it comes to judging a person. You see, when you’re nice and you do things for people, you attract the wrong crowd. You begin to attract disrespectful people who only want to take advantage of that compassion.

By being a nice person, I open my arms to everyone because that’s what a nice person does in general. But, being nice has also lowered my standards for friends and relationships. Over time, you become a product of your environment, so I want to surround myself with people who will encourage me to make good decisions and do great things. But, it’s hard for me to reject someone because by being nice, sometimes I forget to consider my own happiness.

I care more about making others happy than I do myself. In addition, I am not happy. But that doesn’t make sense, right? I like making others happy, so seeing them happy doesn’t make me happy? No. Sometimes I don’t want to do things, but I make sacrifices to see other people happy. Now, it is beginning to exhaust me. I can’t be myself if it makes others unhappy. I feel pressured by my close friends to make stupid decisions and it’s hard for me to say no. If I stand up for myself, I will lose my friends. Nobody likes being put in their place, especially by a “pushover.”

Two of the most important things to remember about life, especially when judging a person, is:

- You are a product of your surroundings.

- People will never change for someone, they will only change for themselves.

I have gone through many personality changes in the past month, to the point where I realize just how terrible I am letting myself be treated. I have been so nice to the wrong people who now feel as if they can say or do whatever they want to me. I have done so much for those people, and it’s hard for me to let them go, but toxicity is toxicity and I should not continue to sacrifice my well being to please them.

I hate being nice, but at the end of the day I will not change. True kindness is a rare thing in this new millennial.

Cover Image Credit: http://static1.squarespace.com

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An Open Letter to the Person Who Still Uses the "R Word"

Your negative associations are slowly poisoning the true meaning of an incredibly beautiful, exclusive word.
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What do you mean you didn't “mean it like that?" You said it.

People don't say things just for the hell of it. It has one definition. Merriam-Webster defines it as, "To be less advanced in mental, physical or social development than is usual for one's age."

So, when you were “retarded drunk" this past weekend, as you claim, were you diagnosed with a physical or mental disability?

When you called your friend “retarded," did you realize that you were actually falsely labeling them as handicapped?

Don't correct yourself with words like “stupid," “dumb," or “ignorant." when I call you out. Sharpen your vocabulary a little more and broaden your horizons, because I promise you that if people with disabilities could banish that word forever, they would.

Especially when people associate it with drunks, bad decisions, idiotic statements, their enemies and other meaningless issues. Oh trust me, they are way more than that.

I'm not quite sure if you have had your eyes opened as to what a disabled person is capable of, but let me go ahead and lay it out there for you. My best friend has Down Syndrome, and when I tell people that their initial reaction is, “Oh that is so nice of you! You are so selfless to hang out with her."

Well, thanks for the compliment, but she is a person. A living, breathing, normal girl who has feelings, friends, thousands of abilities, knowledge, and compassion out the wazoo.

She listens better than anyone I know, she gets more excited to see me than anyone I know, and she works harder at her hobbies, school, work, and sports than anyone I know. She attends a private school, is a member of the swim team, has won multiple events in the Special Olympics, is in the school choir, and could quite possibly be the most popular girl at her school!

So yes, I would love to take your compliment, but please realize that most people who are labeled as “disabled" are actually more “able" than normal people. I hang out with her because she is one of the people who has so effortlessly taught me simplicity, gratitude, strength, faith, passion, love, genuine happiness and so much more.

Speaking for the people who cannot defend themselves: choose a new word.

The trend has gone out of style, just like smoking cigarettes or not wearing your seat belt. It is poisonous, it is ignorant, and it is low class.

As I explained above, most people with disabilities are actually more capable than a normal human because of their advantageous ways of making peoples' days and unknowingly changing lives. Hang out with a handicapped person, even if it is just for a day. I can one hundred percent guarantee you will bite your tongue next time you go to use the term out of context.

Hopefully you at least think of my friend, who in my book is a hero, a champion and an overcomer. Don't use the “R Word". You are way too good for that. Stand up and correct someone today.

Cover Image Credit: Kaitlin Murray

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The 'New America' Needs To Look Back On Its Establishing Morals

This is a country that aspired to thrive upon the roots of life, liberty, and equality.

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The United States of America was founded on the idea and need to have a country that granted it's people equality and freedom. This idea of America was a thought that gave many people a sense of hope.

Following the Revolutionary War, The United States of America was established: a country that aspired to thrive upon the roots of life, liberty and equality.

Through numerous tough and long years, the citizens of America slowly started to see the equality for each and every citizen they had always envisioned. African Americans were freed from slavery with the passing of the Thirteenth Amendment. But, when the Fourteenth Amendment was passed in 1868, a new era was beginning. This Amendment to the Constitution was the first time gender was added to the Constitution. This amendment declared that "The rights of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude."

With this amendment, women became inspired to fight for equality in this country just as every male citizen now had. When the Nineteenth Amendment was ratified in 1920, women were granted suffrage. This milestone pleased the women of this country because they thought they were now equal to their male counterparts.

Well, today, in 2018, women still do not have the same equality as males in this country.

In this "New America" that is "flourishing" today, women earn 80.5 cents on average to every dollar a man makes.

A country that was founded on the value of instilling liberty and equality into the government and country has somewhere lost its morals and values.

In this "New America" a man accused of sexually assaulting a woman can be sworn into the highest court in America. A court people are supposed to see as an establishment of fairness and equality; a court that will protect its citizens.

How are the citizens of The United States of America supposed to feel protected by its government when that government has failed to see women as equals? How are these citizens suppose to be proud to call The United States home when a man who caused a woman so much mental trauma can be represented in our government?

The Old America was a country that worked tirelessly to grant all it's citizens equality in hopes to make this country one that was based on liberty for all. As the years have passed, our government and this country's citizens have lost sight of this.

This "New America" is failing to protect all its citizens and quite frankly I am terrified to see the continuation and evolution of this corruption in our country.

In order for American citizens to feel proud to be a citizen of this country once again, the citizens need to be able to trust their government; they need to feel that the people that represent this country will work as hard as possible to protect all their rights.

For this to happen, this "New America" needs to take a look back in time and remember what this country was established for.

Once women are seen as equals to men in this country, a woman will not receive such harsh backlashed when bravely sharing a traumatic event in order to protect herself as well as the citizens in her country.

Once women are seen as equals to men in this country, a man would not state he is more worried about his sons than his daughters following sexual assault accusations brought to light.

Men should not fear that their sons will be accessed of sexual assault just as women should not fear being sexually assaulted.

America needs to take a good look in the mirror and reevaluate its morals.

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