What do you depend on? We all have something that either a) keeps us going, or b) holds us back. We are all holding onto something, but some of us are less aware of what that is than others.
For some, it’s relationships. It’s your friendships, it’s your family, it’s your significant other. It’s people. For others, it’s addiction, it’s a hobby, it’s your job.
The people who are constantly clinging to something are the same people who are too afraid to cling to the future. It’s a romance between dependency and being independent. You don’t need a constant safety boat to keep you afloat in life.
I know a bunch of people who cling to romantic relationships, specifically. Instead of forgiving their past faults, they move forward to someone new for a clean slate, and bring the baggage from yesterday into today. Instead of confronting actual problems, the focus on out of sight out of mind is centralized.
We are all dependent on something, and that dependency explains the way react to things, and how we manifest emotions in our day to day lives. Sometimes these things are healthy, and at other times they are just as much holding them back as we are holding onto them.
We become dependent on things --no matter what they may be-- because it provides us with stability. We have a certain craving for consistency and that’s what gives us the high of security. By unhealthily clinging, we lose a sense of independence in the dive in.
Sometimes we make homes out of people when we have no business committing to a real estate contract with one. The times when we become dependent on people they become our addiction.
In college, this is super relevant. You cling onto the people around you for a sense of stability in a time that tends to be rocky. And in some instances, you stick to the people who give you attention --good and bad.
It’s hard to separate yourself from attachment. In fact, it makes it a lot easier to detach from someone if you have the security blanket of someone else to cling onto next.
We can’t rely on people. We all bring a certain level of disappointment to the table --this isn’t me being a pessimist, this is my realist coming out, and we all know that it’s true. We cannot depend on people forever. And we have to have allowances for when people trip up on us. They’re human, but that’s also the issue: they’re human.
Don’t get me wrong, community is so important, but there has to come a time where you respect yourself enough in order to see yourself as enough.
This means instead of jumping into someone else’s corner constantly, it’s time you start packing a punch from your own.
When one thing changes, for me, I dramatically believe that everything around me is falling apart. It’s not true. At all. But it feels like that for a hot second, and I do cling to whatever brings me a sense of stability in the moment --and often times it is the people around me who fill that.
Nevertheless, it should be acknowledged that stability doesn’t come in the form of people. And independence certainly does not come in the form of human beings.
