It is the same scene no matter the campus. All across our nation, girls and guys spend time and effort primping and prepping, getting ready to go out on any given Thursday, Friday or Saturday night. It goes something like this: girl walks in to bar/fraternity house/party, boy approaches girl, they talk, phone numbers are exchanged, boy gets girl a drink (or two or three) and soon enough it’s time to go and the pair walk, or more appropriately stumble, home together.

Chances are the girls getting approached at the parties are not the ones that are have the nicest heart or the wittiest jokes and that is the problem. There is so much stress and pressure placed on women and what they wear and how they look. It seems that the competition is who can wear the least amount of clothing or the most make up and the prize is a meaningless night spent with a stranger. If this is the game, then count me out because no one is winning.

When I meet a boy, I don’t want him to drunkenly slur, “you look hot.” I want him to take the time to get to know me, and then compliment me on the things that really matter. I want him to tell me that I am kind and have a beautiful heart or that the face I make when I am concentrating really hard is beautiful. I want him to take notice to the things that make me who I am, and those should be the things that boys are complimenting girls on.

The problem today is that no one takes to time to get to know the real you, they don’t take the time to see what makes you happy, ticks you off, what you value and the goals you have for yourself. We are worth so much more than what our exteriors look like. So many of us are selling ourselves short by letting total strangers into the most intimate parts of our lives, and when we never get another text or call from them, we beat ourselves up about it. Although it is a “shame on us” for allowing someone we just met take advantage of that, it is also a huge “shame on them.”

The reason that you never get a second text, or a call asking you to go out to lunch is not because you aren’t smart enough, or funny enough. It’s just that they never took the time to realize how funny and smart you are. The unique qualities and weird quirks that come with each of us are not something to cover up. They are meant to be highlighted and celebrated, because those are the best things about all of us and for someone to not realize that and see that is not a fault on your part, it is a fault on theirs.

So, girls, next time you are feeling lonely, instead of leaving with the first boy who tells you that you are hot or sexy or looking fine, instead look in the mirror and remind yourself of all the reasons that you are worth the wait.